Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Are these valid reasons to want out?

My DH and I have been married 4 yrs, but together 10. I have taken alot of BS over the years with him and I think I'm done. We have a 7 yr and a 7 month old, but I cant go on anymore. He never helps out with our 7 month old, he is soooooo selfish it's not even funny, He stinks as a father, he either tries to be a friend or ignores the responsibilities of a father, He gets mad if I want to go ANYwhere, even if it's to the store with my mother. He checks my phone for texts, he has a keylogger on the computer to watch who and what I do, I'm am just sooooo over it. What would you do? plz help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • leave

    Answer by SThompson21 at 4:40 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I wouldn't put up w/ that!

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 4:42 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Leave, i Bet you he is cheating and he is trying to catch you to see if you are so that way he can blame the divorce on you. Do some digging of your own and see what you find. Mean while go to the court file for custody, child support and separation papers. Get rid of that dude.


    Answer by YamahaGoddess at 4:45 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I want to soooo bad, but I know how childish he is. He would try to take my kids away (even though he doesnt have a clue how to raise them) he has tried to do this once before so I know how childish he is and will be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I had issues with my husband at first when my son was born and didn't want to help me at all. I had a c- section and was up all night with the baby. His excuse for not getting up at night is because I wasn't back to work yet. That was BS! I was gonna leave him in the bginning but he is a great dad now (most of the time) and we worked it out. Your situation sounds totally worse. Please leave him! If you are the one doing all the work you might as well do it alone. You are doing alone now with no breaks! Leave him!!!!

    Answer by Aidensmommy1115 at 4:50 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • People around you can witness that you raise your kids by yourself, right? The courts can't just give him your children unless they know they are in a stable home. Get you a Lawyer!

    Answer by Aidensmommy1115 at 4:53 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I believe in preserving the institution of marriage and using divorce only as a last resort (as long as physical, emotional and psychological abuse are not involved. If you are being abused, leave immediately). However, those are definitely reasons to want to review your marriage and if it is working. I would try counseling. If he is unwilling to go and/or unwilling to work with you after trying some type of therapy and you are unhappy in the relationship, I personally would consider those reasons to call it quits. Good luck!

    Answer by NovemberLove at 4:54 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Your excactly right Aidensmommy! I am doing it all alone, his excuse is that he works, I dont, but I do work, I am raising his 2 children 24 hours a day 7 days a week with 0 breaks and no days off. I'm so tired and angry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • everyone that knows me can definitely vouch that I do it all!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • It sounds to me like he doesn't trust you. Do you know of any reason why he wouldn't? As for his helping out, this is a common complaint from women today. Most of the guys my sons' ages grew up in homes where moms and dads pretty much had separate roles. So that's what they are used to. Most of them are not equipped to do housework nor to take care of children. They can learn to do those things, but they have to be taught them. This sort of blurring of the responsibilites is a very new concept albeit one that seems to have caught on very quickly, especially with the women. If you want him to bathe the baby, you start by asking him to help you do it. You do that until he is comfortable doing it by himself. Would you want someone who throw you a tire jack and tell you to change a tire if nobody had ever shown you how to do it? I sure would not. That's how men feel when they're asked to take care of a baby.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:04 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Is this normal?