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4 Bumps

Is an adopted child legally obligated to help his bio family out with medical stuff

like if someone needs a bone marrow transplant or something

he is 31 now and we contacted him for the first time and explained our situation, he told us to stuff it...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Aug. 26, 2012 in Adoption

Answers (44)
  • No, no one (related or not) is legally obligated to do so.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 5:31 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • Absolutely not. NO ONE has any obligation to give up any part of their body for anyone. If they choose to do so, that's a major gift, and a major sacrifice. To think anyone would have that obligation is self centered.

    I feel for your son that's ill, but imagine how sad for the son you gave up...and to him his REAL family is probably the one he knows, the one who raised him....imagine how traumatic to find out in such a way that he was adopted....and that the first contact he has from his bio mom is a request for part of his body to help a child she kept and raised..

    I don't mean to be mean, and I don't know for sure the real circumstance of his birth and adoption, but honestly, that's probably how he feels.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:35 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • You had no interest in finding him or wanting to know him until your NEEDED him.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 5:42 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • Your joking right? Know one is legally obligated to do that sort of stuff.  His real family? You mean biological family.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:45 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • i didnt realize that contacting him was ever an option

    and when you have a sick 5 year old that changes every single little thing
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:46 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • having a sick child gives NO ONE the right to upset a life out of selfishness and that is what you did. You did not care to contact or look for your other son until you needed him to save your baby. Sorry but your wrong but the answer is NO he doesnt have to doa single thing for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • So wait. . .THIS is how he finds out he was adopted? He didn't know before you called him to ask him to do you a favor? I would be surprised if he doesn't change his number. That it totally messed up.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 6:37 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • why didn't you bother trying to find the family that raised him first? Tell them your situation so THEY would be able to tell him that he was adopted.


    You just dropped a huge bomb on him telling him all of this and then expecting something in return.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 6:39 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • so let me get this straight.
    You were forced to give him up at a young age and never attempted to find him before. You have no relationship with him at all. You finally find him after 31 years- break the news to him that he is adopted and then all int eh same conversation ask him to be doner for the child you were able to keep? I know he is an adult and all but this is how I imagine it came off to him:
    My bio mother gave me up for adoption and never thought about me again until she needed something from me. How dare she come into my life out of nowhere and turn iit upside down so she could ask me to help save the child she did keep...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:15 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • At 31 years ago I realize that the message you were given could have been that you are not allowed to look for him.My oldest is 35 and while they assured me they would make mutal contact after he was adult and if he wanted to .They lied to me ,him and his adoptive family so I realize you could have been very dicouraged from ever looking.Having said that you are the person who signed for whatever reason so it is up to you to look at it from his point of view.You have a much better chance of developing a relationship where he cares if he feels you care for HIM as a whole.Not just as a marrow doner.When I realized in the spring my oldest had looked for me 15 years ago and the agency didn't tell him I called on his birthday every year I was upset.I made sure the middle person told him first off I had always left contact info and I had always been waiting to know him.I imagine your oldest would want that also.
    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 7:56 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

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