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4 Bumps

Is an adopted child legally obligated to help his bio family out with medical stuff

like if someone needs a bone marrow transplant or something

he is 31 now and we contacted him for the first time and explained our situation, he told us to stuff it...

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Aug. 26, 2012 in Adoption

Answers (44)
  • No one has any obligation to donate anything medically, to anyone. All you can do is ask, but he has every right to say no. And if you've never seen or spoken to him since he was given up, I can't say I blame him for refusing. I'm sorry, but it does come across as really selfish.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:37 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • no words......

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:56 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • Wow no he is NOT obligated to help and I would be really hurt and mad that my bio family just look for me when they needed something from me.

    Answer by Alisim at 3:42 PM on Aug. 27, 2012

  • Not at all. It is his choice. An adoptee owes no one anything. While it is hard to be ill and facing person, family or not, is required or owes anyone this very big procedure.

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:21 PM on Aug. 27, 2012

  • He is definitely not obligated to his biologically family in any way, shape, or it medically, financially, having a relationship, etc. Actually, in this case, it doesn't matter that he was adopted...he is an adult and has the right to choose to help or not.

    Here's a tip for you......don't tell him that you are his REAL family. To him, you aren't his REAL family, the family that raised him is his REAL family. That kind of language alone might be sure to get you off on the wrong foot.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 6:02 PM on Aug. 27, 2012

  • Hmm. At first glance I'm having doubts that this story is true.
    No one has a right to harvest tissue, or organs from another. Period.
    But there seems to be a lot of triggering language in the post. I think it's meant to inflame..and get people to rally that keeping records sealed is a good thing because bmoms will come out of the woods to get something from the adoptee- and to boot inform him he's adopted as its not her place to tell.
    I call BS

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 AM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • Even if he hadn't been adopted out, it is his body, and his choice whether to give pieces of it away. There is nothing you can do in a legal sense if that is what you're asking, and I can completely understand his position.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:54 AM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • No. And if this why you found him I'm not surprised he told you to stuff it. It was wrong of his aparents not to tell him he was adopted so that wasn't your fault, but damn talk about insensitive. How dare you refer to yourself as his real family. Jeesh, you think his adoptive family are unreal?

    Answer by onethentwins at 8:58 PM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • As heartbreaking as it is,, he has no legal obligations for anything,, I might write a long letter to him,, I assume that no-one else is a match? The odds are not in your favor if it is for one of your current children, and no other child or you and your husband are not a match,, I would think out of kindness he would want to get tested. I am on the bone marrow donor list for a stranger. good luck and sorry.

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:48 AM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • Such a sad situation all around. He truly owes you nothing, but the hope of the slightest possiblility of saving your 5 y/o must be driving your emotions so much that you cannot realize what havoc has just been created in the life of your 31 y/o. IF he truly didn't know he was adopted (and what a crime if that were true), then you just informed him that his whole life has been a "lie". If he can't trust his own parents, who can he trust? A "stranger" on the phone?

    I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing. Your mother's heart is torn between two sons. One stolen so long ago & one whose life has just begun. Thinking it through, I would have called him. If his adoptive parents (who are also REAL) didn't tell him that he was adopted, then I don't think I would have trusted them to pass along a message so vital to your 5 y/o. They could have dissuaded him from call you back. Praying for your family. Good luck!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:01 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

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