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3 Bumps

I need some advice :'( adult content

About 6weeks ago my husband told me that a coworker (fellow EMT) saw a pic of me and she went to tell my husband all of the sex acts that she would do to me. My husband wanting to be honest with me told me about it and let me know he told her it wasn't gonna happen. Well we went on with our lives and I trusted him just fine. Well last night he told me that the woman also told him that if he could get me to okay it then she would have sex with him right there at their station. And if he could get me to agree that she would let him do her doggie style while she was doing whatever to me. Then my husband told me that the whole time she was talking he was getting turned on about it. He waited 6 weeks to tell me this. I feel like shit. I feel like an empty shell that is undesirable and have lost 80% trust for him. If he can sit with some swinger woman and talk about stuff like this, and not tell me it all, how can I be trusting that nothing has happened between then. ?? She even told him that she has wanted to sleep with him for a while and wondered what his cock looked like. :'( I'm at a standstill and just don't know what to do.... I feel like I was cheated on or something. :''(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Aug. 26, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • First of all, WHY would he sit there and listen to this bull shit??? She's a co-worker, this is called sexual harrassment!
    He obviously has NO respect for you to allow this to continue and then to tell you about it! What an ass!
    I wouldn't want to be married to someone like him!
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 6:32 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • Um, he didn't cheat on you and he did tell you the conversations he is having with this woman. That alone would indicate that he is trying to open with you. I think you are being too sensitive. Furthermore, I do not understand how you have lost that much trust over this small issue. You need to take a step back, and breath. Tell him that you trust him completely, but you would prefer he not have these discussions anymore. And seriously? What guy wouldn't get turned on by some woman talking sex? Sounds like a pretty normal male reaction to me. The fact that he was honest with you and told you that these conversations happened should deepen your respect and trust for him.

    She sounds like a freakin' skank.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 6:33 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • Why has he not reported this person to their superiors? Sex talk = sexual harassment. She could get canned for it. If he says nothing and then she draws a third co-worker into this loop, he could also be at risk of losing his job.

    Don't worry about his faithfulness. Worry about his denseness in not reporting the FIRST conversation. I don't think he's unfaithful to you at all.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:37 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • I agree with both of the PP actually. I think you are being a bit over dramatic to say you don't trust him anymore, since he told you what happened. However, I would be annoyed that he didn't tell her that it was inappropriate at work. She is a whore, and that has no place in the work place, especially one like that.

    Are you the woman that is ALWAYS posting about her DH EMT and his inappropriate coworker? If so, time to leave.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 6:39 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • The woman sounds like an alley cat to me. But men like dirty talk, and there's probably nothing more than that going on, since he told you about it. I would take a step back, like theMOMmission suggested, and think really hard before you let jealousy ruin your relationship. Your husband may work with a skank, but he comes home to you.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:40 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • Also he held this conversation with me while we were having sex. I hate to admit it but I was continuing on with sex in order to get this info from him. He went on to say that she showed him her boobs and then gave him a blowjob when no one was there. That's when I pushed him off of me. Even though I wanted to cry I didn't. He then said "that didn't happen hun, it was just talk" an I said it sounds too convincing for just talk. So I asked him what all was true and everything other then the boobs/bj thing he said was true. He said that it was helping turn him on during sex and that's why he was talking. But I can't help thinking if he would actually turn her away if she proposed it, because if he uses it during our sex.... Then who knows. That's why the decrease in trust.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:42 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • I think your husband is a jerk. Why would he have a conversation like that with anyone and it sounds like he has had more than one.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:43 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • well, my first thought was- its normal for a man to get turned on over sex talk
    but then I have to ask, what trust is gone? He saw your reaction at first and stopped telling you things, then decided he needed to tell you the rest out of LOVE for you.

    hes with you so be happy, and tell him to report it to HR
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 6:44 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • It is not sexual harassment if he willingly took part in the conversation. Not sure what his work setting is like, but the EMT field is still largely a man's world. And men talk sex. If she is just one of the guys, then he may have willingly took part in this conversation. Your job is to ask him to refrain from having these convos with her. My DH works in an all man environment minus the receptionist. And she is truly just one of the guys. She talks sex and beer and machines just like all of the guys do. I am not uncomfortable with this because she does do it as just one of the guys. It sounds to me like this lady your DH works with has crossed the line. And he needs to realize that. But if you blow up at him, it will cause him to not want to be as open with you for fear of being shut down or chewed out. You need to put your emotions aside and talk to him as his partner and his equal. Just talk to him.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 6:45 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

  • So did he or did he not get physical with her? Because that makes a huge difference. Fantasizing is not cheating and it isn't worth the distrust you have given him.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 6:48 PM on Aug. 26, 2012

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