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2 Year old...should he be acting this way?

I have a two year old son , he's my only child so far so I have nothing to compare him to when he behaves a certain way because I've never delt with this before! Lately he has been VERY naughty, he spits, hits, pinches, of course throws tantrums, SCREAMS, says no to EVERYTHING! Everything is a battle, absolutley EVERYTHING!!!!!! We can't do anything without him throwing a fit, unless it's something he wants to do obviously! He whines quite a bit too! I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH but he is a very strong willed, aggressive young man and I'm just not sure if all of this is normal behavior, if it's normal, fine, I can roll with the punches and ride this phase out, but if not maybe I need to change something in his life or routine or even talk to his pediatrician! IMy husband and I do our best to reprimand him and address his bad behavior, but I find that some days my patience is shorter and I get frazzled easily and I yell more or just shut down and get very quiet and sad because I feel like I'm not doing my job as a mother correctly and that is why he's behaving this way!

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Aug. 29, 2012 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • You need to start enforcing time outs,, no yelling but find a spot, and say Mommy does not like it when you hit,, you will sit here for 2 minutes, and set a timer,, if he gets up just put him back, even if it takes 20 times, say in a calm voice,, you need to sit here for 2 minutes, mommy doesn't want you to hit.

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:42 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • It is normal behavior for a two year old. It's what is called, "a battle of the wills". He wants his way and you want yours. The problems lies with who actually wins the battle. You have to be able to discipline him, stay strong and let him know the behavior won't be tolerated and is wrong. This is where a discipline program needs to be implemented and stood by. You have to be consistent with whatever method you choose, otherwise, at this point on, he will walk all over you.

    Answer by m-avi at 12:44 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • I have nothing to add to what the ladies above have said, hang in there, you have not failed!

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:36 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • It's normal. The biggest source of strife between parents and a two year old is a struggle for independence. The child has learned that there is a bigger world out there than Me and Mom. He wants to go explore it, but we as parents aren't quite ready to allow that kind of independence. Start small. Let him start picking out his clothes; the red shirt or the blue shirt. Give him some choices with food too; apples or carrots for snack. Not too many at a time, it will overwhelm him. A good rule with my kids was as many choices as years of age.

    Another source of frustration is communication. He's feeling all sorts of new emotions and has NO way of articulating. Be his voice. When you see him start to get angry at a toy, verbalize for him: I'm SO MAD this toy isn't doing what I want it to do!

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:41 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • all the previous post are right, welcome to the 2's my youngest is acting like that as well he will be 2 soon, However my oldest two are proof that they do grow out of it I promise!! Good luck Just relax momma its not you just keep doing what you would normally do and do not give into him!

    Answer by SkylaReneeMom at 1:41 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • YUP the terrible twos! There was a time with my two year old that he was so unresponsive to punishment that I was actually concerned my son was a psychopath and he should have genetic testing to confirm. When you say strong willed, I can relate. I read a book back then called The Spirited Child which maybe did not give me the answers but sort of made me feel better and understand. Kids at this age are testing limits and are learning how to get a rise out of you. After trying multiple things I found that the one thing that really helped was not so much a time out but the lack of attention a time out brings. Super Nanny really does do a good job with this method. Sometimes I had to give myself a time out and just would say Mommy is very angry right now and needs to calm down and so do you so I cannot talk to you right now. This absolute lack of attention was inevitably the worst punishment. It does get better soon I swear.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 1:56 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • I haven't come across any problems like that yet- try reading "the happiest toddler on the block"

    Answer by staciandababy at 7:19 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • Yes, be consistent and mean what you say! Decide on a punishment such as time-out and be consistent with it. Also after I say "mommy put you in time-out because you threw a car (or whatever), we do NOT throw cars." I make my DS say "Sorry mommy" before he leaves timeout. I've heard that they don't understand what that means but I want him to get into that habit. I understand how difficult it can be! But be strong! YOU are the parents and he needs guidance :)

    Answer by Sarahbeth7 at 9:58 PM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • I totally agree with the time out idea. My DS has been a bit tantrum-y lately and we've started time outs. Especially if I feel myself getting angry, or he's just out of control, or he does something naughty, I pick him up, put him in his bed, tell him time-out, and leave, shutting the door. Sometimes he'll cry or scream for a minute or two. Or he'll come open his door. I just tell him, "No, you're still in time out" and he'll go back in his bed. As soon as we're both calm, I'll go in and talk to him about what he should have done, give him a big hug, and then we'll play together.
    Also, if I put him in Time Out, my husband is not allowed to "rescue" him and vice versa. We let the other know if we've put him in Time Out so that they are aware and let him be. It's working great!

    Answer by Reenieredhead at 6:05 PM on Sep. 23, 2012

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