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Was completely blind

We've been married for three years and still nothing I've asked him to do has been done his been lying to me. I feel so lost I told myself I wasn't gonna go through his things but I did because he was acting strange and distant. He didn't even want to play with his son nor go see the ultrasound of his unborn child. I found him writing to men and women on craigslist and he had pictures saved of my cuzin his ex. Who he wrote on fb saying he loved her straight out flirting with her. Had pictures of his Dick. And he was dunk when I saw everything so I wrote him the longest heartfelt text saying I am no longer going to stand by and be treated like this he tried talking to me he asked me if I want a divorce I said yes and than he started crying saying I'm just going to give up like that and that I'm going to give his mom a heart attack he asked for one more chance ugh I'm trying to keep it together but I feel like I will never love and trust him in my eyes he won't be the man I wish he was it feels like it's too late to save oflr relationships his a Marine getting ready to deploy at the beginning of the year I was thinking to wait things out see how things go but than again I want to be happy I want to stop hurting I want something that's real....should I stay or should I go? My kids r my number one priorities at this point what do I do :( so confused Ps I'm 5 months pregnant

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Aug. 29, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • go
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:35 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • If it didn't change in Year One of your marriage, it won't change later. Sorry.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:36 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • leave him
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:43 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • He most likely has a sex addiction,, he will be the one to give his mother a heart attack because of his actions, he sound manipulative and oddl. I would have myself tested for stds, including HIV, and have his bags packed today.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:53 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • go.

    I am trying to figure one thing out though. You didn't want to go and see the ultrasound of his son?
    Does that mean he has someone else he got pregnant while you were married to him?
    As far as his mom, that is on his head, it was his actions not yours.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:58 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • I totally feel your pain.....I am going through something like this myself!

    I may not be able to help you much...however, I would like you to know that whatever he has been doing ARE HIS OWN ACTIONS, which will eventually hurt people WHO HE LOVES...including you and the kids and his mom.
    Allow yourself to search for help AS LONG AS HE WANTS TO BE HELPED there is hope!
    Find out how much effort he is willing to turn this around in order to SAVE HIS MARRIAGE!!!
    GOOD LUCK!
    Monsita

    Answer by Monsita at 3:21 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • He's had this behavior for 3 years,,its not likely he's going to change. You are not responsible if his mother has a heart attack because you end this marriage. I'd kick him to the curb.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:13 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • You deserve to be in a healthy marriage. He isn't contributing to your health and well being if he is looking for partners on craigslist. Only you will know when you are ready to go. the best thing for your kids is to not be drug back and forth. When you decide you can't live with his behavior anymore then leave once and for all. He is going to cry and say he won't do it anymore. That is normal behavior for someone with a addiction (think alcoholic). You can't live your life and raise kids when you are wondering what your husband is out doing. Don't make a rash decision, get stronger everyday. Make a plan and do what is best for you and your kids.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:42 AM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • I would say get out now because if he's already showing no interest he won't change after the other baby is born. Trust me, these type of guys never change. I'm going through a divorce right now, I stayed for 2 1/2 year after having our son hoping he would change, and that day never happenend.
    good luck!
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 12:15 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • and don't beat yourself up about it just get up and move on!
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 12:15 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

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