Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Something to consider adult content

Two friends, two stories.
Friend A had an emergency c section a week before the effective date for her tubal ligation. Dr. Refused to do it due to liability. Friend had heart issues and was not cleared to have the surgery later. Friend was also not cleared for bc. Cardiologist said no more kids or life would be threatened. Friend A and her dh have a condom break months later. Friend A is pregnant. Cardiologist says there is no way she can safely carry this baby.

Friend B unknowingly contracts HIV from dh. Discovers this and pregnancy at the same time. Finds out dh used heroin while stationed in Germany. Cannot even think about bringing an HIVpositive child into this world.

Both of my friends chose to terminate their pregnancy. Friend A saw no sense in risking leaving her two healthy children without a mother or her dh without a partner. Friend B did not think it was fair for a child to be born with a deadly disease.

Before you judge a woman who has to make this kind of decision, think about what may have led up to it. Life is crazy and there are many scenarios we do not consider.


Asked by mommy_wambles at 6:46 PM on Aug. 29, 2012 in Politics & Current Events

Level 16 (2,441 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • We just had this same debate in my (Christian) college last night. I am very much pro-choice specifically because of situations like the ones your friends had to deal with. My heart goes out to them, and I cannot imagine having to make such a choice. I don't believe abortions should just be used as form of birth control as a previous poster said, but there are definitely valid reasons for it. It is easy for people to say what they would NEVER do, but when you are actually faced with that situation, that is when you really know.

    Answer by hatagaj at 9:18 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:59 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • AS I'm sure you've gathered from the previous post. I mind my own damn business and I know the situations are not as black and white as some would like to pretend they are.
    Am I against abortion as a means of birth control because some dumb hoe couldn't keep her legs shut or bother to use protection. HELL YES
    Am I against abortion in case of rape, medical risk, or a million other possibilities such as like those provided.-It's none of my damn business, or yours but no. I may not make the same decision but it is not my decision to make

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 7:06 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • Being intolerant of seeing someone else's viewpoint is just ridiculous,and it makes you look like a fool

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:16 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • Mose,, may I ask if you are from a religous stand point of just a moral? I would think that all of us have broken at least one of the 10 commandments, so sin can be forgiven,, but honestly if I became pregnant right now, and the doctor said I would most likely die (strong likelihood I might given my history) I would consider having an abortion. the son I have needs his mother, in all likelihood I would not even be able to carry a baby to term.

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:22 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • My cousin David's fiance found out during her 20 week ultrasound that their child had no kidneys and only had a brainstem,no brain.The doctors told them that the child would likely die within hours of birth.
    They chose to abort.
    Upon autopsy they found out that the child was also missing its eyes and a few major blood vessels to its skull
    It hurt them more than they could imagine,but for them it was a wise choice

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:00 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • They'll just turn their noses up at the food you offer out of their own stubborn pride trying to justify their positions

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 7:11 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • See what I mean. Ther'es definitely some resentment there

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 7:18 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • I may be bashed for this but I could care less. I am pro-choice but anti abortion

    If I was friend A I would abort. I have a family and I cant risk my life for a pregnancy that will kill both me and baby.
    Friend B. I have no idea, that one is very hard since PP was right, a baby can be born without it and with todays technology they try and prevent it. That's a very hard choice.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 7:26 PM on Aug. 29, 2012

  • >make up less than 5% of abortions...something to consider. <

    But the fact remains that they do happen and because of that, there should be a choice. I think of it this way - in the OP's two examples, Friend B, in the 80s, would have already been dealing with a grieving process. At that time, she also would likely have dealt with stigma. To ask her to have to make a case - to validate a request for an abortion - on top of that is just cruel. Removing her choice because it's 'rare' is not right either.

    OP - I'm sorry both your friends had to face these decisions. I am sure it was heartbreaking for them both. It sounds like they were already dealing with a heath crisis and then to add this -- sigh. I'm sorry. :( I am not judging either of them - I'm wondering (and you may not know) if Friend A's DH ever considered a vasectomy considering their circumstances.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 9:00 PM on Aug. 29, 2012