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My son freaks out every morning before school

my son just started kindergarten. he cried on the first day which was expected. then the whole week he was fine. then the second week he started acting up. he will cry and cry. i just sent him to school anyway. then today he through the worse fit so far. i walk him to school and we are not allowed inside the school so i have to stand outside and let him in. well today he started freaking out. he was crying really bad and screaming. then he tried to throw himself on the ground so i couldn't make him go in. i even had a police officer come over to me and ask if i wanted her to walk him to his class. my son said he didnt want that and i didn't want to make the situation any worse so i told her no. it eventually ended up where two teachers had to actually drag my son into school screaming. i feel horrible and embarassed. i don't like to see my son upset. i don't like that i feel i am making other people (the teachers) do my job as a parent and deal with his tantrums. i feel so stuck. i tried talking to him and its just not working. i don't think it has anything to do with bullying and i know he has a lot of friends because i see him talk to peole and when i pick him up kids are constantly stopping him and talking and laughing with him. i just don't get it. he said it is because he misses me but i don't see him throwing that big of a fit because he misses me. i have threatenend him that if he stays home he is just going to lay in bed all day and not go out and play with his friends and he said he didn't care. then i have tried bribing him which didn't work either. i eventually gave that up considering it is not working and is honestly a lazy way to parent. it won't get to the root of the problem if i just buy him things. what can i do to ease these tantrums he keeps throwing because i don't know how much more of it i can take emotionally. has anyone had a similar experience and what did you do to help with the problem?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Aug. 30, 2012 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • Some Kinders have a hard time adjusting to school. Have you emailed or talked to his teacher to see if things are fine in the classroom? See if she has any suggestions since she witnesses his behavior during school hours. Maybe talk to someone in the office that you can have walk him to his classroom right when you get to the door to eliminate or reduce the length of tantrum. Once he is with a teacher / school worker then turn and leave, even if he is throwing his tantrum. He wants a reaction from you. If you don't give him attention he will likely stop doing it.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:30 AM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • My daughter cried all the way until November when she first started kindergarten. It was just so hard for her to adjust. I talked to the teacher and she told me she was fine once she was in school, it was just the leaving part. And it was funny because I always worked and my daughter was in daycare from the time she was 4 months old, but she was used to that and this was new. I would talk to the teacher and find out what happens once you are gone. Good luck!

    Answer by mompam at 9:31 AM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • Just stick to your routine, it's just going to take time. If he see's you're not going to back down (he's testing you with the fits), then he'll eventually stop. Be strong Momma, it will get better.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:40 AM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • We had that problem with my dd but it was in 1st grade and not kindergarten. We found out that the kindergarten teacher didn't prepare her for the work of 1st grade. We also found out she was ADHD. Once we did that she started getting services in school. She got an aide to help her with work assignments. You need to sit him down when he is calm and ask him simple questions why he doesn't like school or why he is throwing a fit. Ask the school to have him tested. There may be an underlying learning disability that is making him afraid of school. Good luck to you. I know it can be very trying. We worked with the school psychologist and had a great child study team counselor. DD would go to Resource room for extra help in the K - 2 grades and was in Resource room replacement for Math and Lang. Arts in grades 3 - 5.

    Answer by robinkane at 9:43 AM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • OMG, THIS DESCRIBES MY SON EXACTLY!!!!!!! First day of Kindergarten yesterday, he didn't cry. Today he cried bloody murder and 2 teachers had to literally pry him off my leg since they won't let parents in the building. And his reason for crying is because he said he misses me. He did the same thing in preschool as well. I can't believe I found someone else with the same problem I do! It's soooo hard having to deal with this because your always thinking "What the hell am I supposed to do?!" It's physically and emotionally exhausting! Good luck mama, i'll be checking this post again to find out some answers for myself as well!

    Answer by exxOHjackie at 10:31 AM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • just try to focus on the long-term-it is soo hard to leave when your kid is upset, but I would highly recommend talking to the teacher about how he is doing once he's in the class. When my dd was upset every morning for daycare I was heartbroken, but once I forgot to leave her mittens, went back 15mins after i had left her in a crying mess, and peeked through the window where she couldn't see me-she was laughing with another kid! To us it feels like they're crying all day-but in reality its usually only a couple minutes until we're out of sight.

    Answer by Hollander at 9:30 AM on Aug. 31, 2012

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