Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i need help!!! please!!!

okay so i finally told my BF that my daughter (who is 7 months old) needs to have a relationship with her real father and my BF doesnt agree at all. he doesnt want him around me or anything thats his problem. hes not even thinking about my daughter. he said HE would be her dad and give her all she needs. i said thats fine but would YOU want to know your real father. her bio father is NOT a bad guy. he wants to take responsibility and to have a relationship with her. i love my BF to death but im about to give up on him. like maybe this isnt worth it. but we have SO much love between us. this isnt fair! how do i get him to understand? anyone been in this situation? please help!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • well if her bio dad pays child support u have to let him see the baby

    Answer by josalin at 11:06 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • It was your choice to sleep with your prior boy friend and you got pregnant. The fact that you are no longer together isn't your baby's fault. The dad deserves to see his daughter unless he is a bad guy. Your bf either needs to get over it and realize your situation, or you need to dump him. I don't care how much you "love" the new guy, your daughter comes first. Not your happiness. I'd be pissed if I was your daughter 10 years down the road and found out YOU were the reason I didn't know my dad, not that it was my dad's choice but yours. If this new bf doesn't get it, he doesn't deserve your daughter and he can't control your life. Tell you bf that if he loves you and your daughter, that he needs to respect HER father and HER by letting him in her life. Otherwise, your ex will probably fight a custody battle with you, and you don't want to go through that, let alone who says youll marry the current beau? Don't be selfish.

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 11:10 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Bio father has legal rights to her unless he waives them. It's crazy for your BF to pretend he can act as Dad when she has one. If he loves you, he'll allow your child to develop her rightful relationship with her father and he'll quit being jealous. It's not right. Talk to him.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:12 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • as a parents you need to put ur daughter first and she has a right to know who her father is thats all there is to it. I dated a guy who jhated my daughters' father being in the pic but i put my foot down and explained that they had a right to have a relationship with their father and that he may have been playing daddy to my kids they desevred all the love they can have and if bio dad hasnt done anything wrong u have no right to keep her from him

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 11:34 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Simple tell him to grow the hell up, and that honestly as long as it doesn't cross any boundaries the relationship you have with your childs father is none of his business, you have to put your little girl first not him, and I know everyone hates to think of it but what if a few months or years down the road he decides he is out, he has no reason to care because he is not her dad and your little girl thinks that is her daddy can you imagine how hurt she will be I say let her get that bond with her bio dad first and if he isn't will to be mature enough to accept it then maybe you should reconsider your relationship with him


    Answer by hautemama83 at 12:31 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Your daughter deserves to know her BIO father. Boyfriend has no say so in thay in all honesty. He needs to understand that. Let him know he can be there everytime Dad comes around or comes to pick her up. Don't do it behind his back. Be open with him with all transactions.

    Answer by mommatime78 at 1:04 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I'm glad you think and feel that way, just tell him like it is, if he leaves then you know how much your relationship meant to him and it's better off anyway, if he stays he'll get over it

    Answer by Lizamafers at 1:19 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • tell him to get over it. AND LET THE BIO FATHER SEE HIS CHILD!!!!!

    Answer by momavanessa at 1:46 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • honestly right now its not his place to tell u that ur baby cant see her father. u know deep in ur heart that it will affect ur child as she gets older. u said her father is not a bad guy so y are u even having to ask. u and her father made that beautiful little girl and he has every right to see his child. right now my husband is going through babymomma drama cuz she wont let him see his son. its sad cuz hes going to be 10 next month and my husband has been in and out of his life but not because he wanted to cuz she will not allow him to see his son cuz of her boyfriend. girl i tell u this if her father takes u to court its gonna be a struggle! trust me. i feel bad for my husband cuz he keeps fighting and lives in court!!!!

    Answer by tuty2403 at 1:48 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • You should let a father be a father even if he isnt with you. Yea you guys didnt work out but there a baby in between and well she needs him as much as he needs her. Your bf has to know that while you and him are something and ur glad he treats ur daughter good and everything, the father of you r daughter will always be the father. Im going through a seperation righr now with my baby daddy and even though i am truly hurt for him leaving me i will never deny hi mthe right to be with his daughter and to be a father. If he dicides he doesnt want to interact with my daughter then at is on him, many guys out there forget about there children all the time give the guys who try to be with there daughters a lil credit for at least sticking around her. Before we are women we are now mothers and wat is best for the child should be our priority. hope this helps a lil

    Answer by 5KRAZYMOMMA7 at 2:45 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.