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5 Bumps

Affairs

My husband and I have a 12 yr old daughter we have been married 15 years. I just found out he had an affair and she is pregnant with his baby. I packed up my stuff and my daughters and left. He is now begging for a second chance I told him no and to move on am I being selfish?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Aug. 30, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Uh, no. He was the selfish one.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 7:00 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • You are not being selfish. An affair alone can be difficult if not impossible to get over, but an affair with a baby becomes even more complicated. He is the one who made a selfish choice. If there were issues in your marriage, he should have tried to work them out, or left, not had an affair. If there were no issues and he just has no self -control, then he's very self centered. Now he has to live with his decision.

    I would look for a support divorce support group to help you through this, and maybe counseling for your daughter as well.

    And, get a lawyer right away.

    I'm so sorry, and good luck mama.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:05 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • He is the one who is being selfish. Thinking he can have is cake and eat it too.
    I hope you are looking for a good lawyer?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:08 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • Nope, he is the selfish one. I never understood why people would rather cheat then either work on their problems, or leave before starting a new relationship. Plus an affair ending with a baby just makes things that much more complicated. I think you are doing the right thing.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 7:18 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • Nope. You do what you gotta do. He didn't consider the damage he was doing to his marriage and family when he hopped in bed and screwed another woman. You owe him nothing. Get your child support order before the baby comes. That's about as selfish as I would recommend getting. He broke your trust and that is a huge part of the foundation of a successful relationship. If you can't get it back then there is no reason to drag things out.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 7:32 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • No, you are not. I will never understand those women who stay after infidelity.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 7:43 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • No you are not selfish.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:01 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • Not at all. My DH knows cheating is something neither or us would deal with. He does it ONCE and he's gone. Period.
    toughluck08

    Answer by toughluck08 at 8:02 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • No, you are not being selfish. If you feel like you might give him a second chance, at least distance yourself from him and have some serious length of time before you make that decision. I can only imagine the overwhelming emotions you must be going through. But selfish? Come on, even Jesus understood divorce because of adultery.
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 9:07 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

  • Maybe a bit rash, but not one bit selfish. That is a long marriage, just make sure that you are really, truly done before you close that door. And if you go through with the divorce, do NOT sell yourself short on what you're entitled to from that marriage.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:39 PM on Aug. 30, 2012

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