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4 Bumps

Ex is trying to get sole custody

Background: Im a good mother with a clean record background, emotional past with divorced parents , end up with a guy for attention and love not knowing he himself had a short temper, ends up hitting me over the years but i stayed with him because we had lots of kids together, we have 5 kids together one who is diagnosed with cerebral palsy since accidental birth which resulted in lawsuit.. eventually i left him remarried, he remarried, we are getting along over many years (about 4 yrs) Even though we had joint custody I was very open and lienant , let him come over to my house actually a trust owned house for my son. I allowed him to come over the his kids , let him stay inside this house with our kids every weekend or whenever he could.when he came over i and my new husband would leave.. his background : My ex husband has a very bad temper, he used to beat me up, im afraid he might take his anger out on my kids someday, you would touch his face he wouldnt hold back.. he has a felony of abuse and child abuse -due to the kids watching what he did to me. My son with cerebral palsy has fell at school because his stepdad was struggling to get him out of the van and onto the school grounds in which turns out someone called on my husband of suspected child abuse ( i think either the school or my ex husband cps cant tell me) keep in mind the whole staff and its written on the iep that we created a lot of strategies, hes also on psych meds --weight gain,possibility of aggression, etc.. my question is, my ex husband wants to take legal possibly physical sole custody of my disabled son , before this he called cps on me and the cops , throwing accusations my way, but cps and the cop didnt take my kids for they said i just need help and im overwhelmed with life.. they recommended respite services for us parents so i asked for it, he had told the cops that my son had a smelly room with feces and urine, cop came over and said he doesnt see or smell nothing..dont know what else to do ,what could i do ? since i have no past record like he does would it be possible for me to get legal sole custody of my disabled son?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Aug. 31, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • he has a felony of abuse and child abuse -due to the kids watching what he did to me.


    He can waste his money if he wants but no court in their right mind would award him full custody considering the above.  

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:13 AM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • You really need a lawyer. It's very difficult for one parent to get sole custody. Laws vary from state to state, and your situation is somewhat unique.

    I would talk to a lawyer as soon as possible. Good luck mama.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:14 AM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • My other question is, why just the disabled son? Why not fight for all of them if he is going to fight? This is what stood out to me when I wondered that:


    let him come over to my house actually a trust owned house for my son. 


    How does this work?  You are on title?  or is the home owned by the trust?  Is he trying to get control of the disabled son so he has access to the trust?  

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:17 AM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • This is a question to ask a lawyer. There would have to be extreme circumstances for them to grant you sole custody unless he was willing.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • my ex husband has never co operated with helping out in IEP's let alone spend time with him while hes here, the trust is restricted in which was set up as his parents and other members (trust advisors and managers) of the commitee have to agree with decisions based on my sons special needs.. and yes the house is owned by his trust and thats why i didnt mind him coming over here every weekend. It is a restricted trust so neither of us have access for it has to go through courts after all parties have signed , depends on the need. I dont know why he wants just my disabled son, he was never the greedy type but considering that hes having financial hardship it does make sense !
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:35 AM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • You'll be fine.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 12:48 AM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • Family law attorneys usually give free consultations. I'd call the courthouse and ask the clerk for the names of some respected attorneys.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:49 AM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • You need an attorney. Based on his past you should have no problem getting legal sole custody I would fight with everything I have to make sure and get him away from those kids unless it is supervised.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 12:59 AM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • He has a history of child abuse and an explosive temper. Why would you allow unsupervised visitation? anyway....
    You need an attorney.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:25 PM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • Definitely go for sole custody. He hasn't a snowball's chance in hell of getting custody of your children ESPECIALLY when he has only requested it for one. The judge will see through him for the money-grabbing slug that he is. All he wants are your son's benefits ...
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 6:39 AM on Sep. 1, 2012

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