Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

when do you talk to your teenager about boys and sex. how do you start the conversation and what is the best age to start.


Asked by easygoing144 at 12:28 AM on Feb. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • First of all, I say start as early as possible. Most teens have sex out of curiousity, or are dooped into it like my best friend was, because they're uneducated. It'd be much better to teach them about sex, than the streets. The best way to talk about it is with an open mind. Make sure they're educated about STD's, as well. The pictures of what they look like scared me off for years. While you're speaking, you need to show respect to your teen, so that they're inclined to respect themselves. I'd start the conversation off asking what they've heard on the streets and in school about sex, and then take it from there, starting by correcting the wrong statements (there will be some). You want to be completely honest about the good and the bad of having sex, especially about teenage sex, and make sure that virginity is a respect for yourself thing. Good luck!

    Answer by ktrog at 9:03 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • elementary school. Many of these girls are having sex by the time they hit 13 so if at all possible incorporate sex ed into their lives a bit each year from youngsters so that by the time they are teens the talk isn't so traumatic for the parent and embarrassing for the teen. They think they know it all by teens by watching videos, movies and talking to their friends. Make sure you throw in the part about self esteem and the lines guys pull like "if you love me you will". they STILL pull that crap and it STILL works on some girls.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:36 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • This isn't a one time talk. It's an ongoing discussion that should last at least 18 years. The more open and honest you are, the more your child knows that you will give straight answers and not wishy-washy lies and half-truths, the more likely she is to come to you with problems. Does this mean that toddlers need to know where babies come from? Of course not. As I said, it's an 18 year discussion not a one time talk at any age.
    So, when do girls need all the facts?
    A normal healthy girl can hit puberty as young as 7. By age 9 there will be at least one girl with breasts in her class. Sometime in there, she needs to know what will happen to her body and vaguely why it will happen. The book "The Care and Keeping of You" is a great book for girls up to age 12. By 12, girls need to know about sex. If you don't tell her, she will get her "facts" from TV, movies, books, and friends.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:37 AM on Feb. 6, 2009


    Answer by mika0101 at 12:53 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Elementary school, or at least by the age of 9. Also, I took a Girl Talk class with my daughter when she was 10. It was through the local 4-H Extenison Office and it told more than I think I could have told her, and it was worth it. Kids today know more than we ever thought about knowing, and they are learning younger and younger as the days go by. These days the sooner the better, cause there seem to be a lot of children having children.

    Answer by busymom_38001 at 2:12 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • around age 8

    Answer by jonellg at 12:53 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I talked to mine according to age. In grade school it was about keeping her body private who should or should not touch, when touching is bad yadda yadda. When puberty started late grade school I talk about hormones and further about her body parts. When she entered 7th grade I told her the FULL TRUTH lol. I agree with another poster though, these talks are not one time talks, they should be regularly even yearly I think.

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 2:23 AM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • I have intent to start as soon as my toddler asks the first question. And following that, she'll get age-appropriate sex ed. I hate that schools teach "abstinence only" sex ed.

    I plan to let my daughter know more and more as she gets older. I'm going to show her that, if she chooses to become sexually active, then she needs to come see me FIRST so that I can provide her with the right form of birth control for her.

    I hope to start beginning the talk when she's about 10 and close to her period. That's the best time to really start anything big, I think. Her period is her initiation into womanhood and she needs to learn things about WHY she's getting it and things that are appropriate for her age.

    Let her know that she can come talk to you about anything.

    Answer by Betty.Wrong at 3:35 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • We had the talk when he was about 9 yrs old, and every year we get more detailed
    He is 12yr olds and getting very interested in girls, his apperance and puts on cologne every He looking more and more grown-he has a mustache and getting so tall- His school is on the other side of our street and I can look over the fence from my room and see his school- I looked out my window and saw him hugging a girl-My heart sank-He is growing up!

    Answer by Goldenbrowny at 2:34 PM on Feb. 13, 2009