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If some1 says they're broke.... why would you make them feel guilty for NOT going to see a doctor as soon as YOU think you should?

Here's the thing...I have ins. now...but a long time ago I didn't. I've had health concerns for years and I see the doctor when I have to. But even with insurance, the visits can cost a LOT out of pocket (ex: DH had the flu stuff... visit to the doctor wound up costing $298 even with ins). I also needed to go to the Dr. for women's issues... but that $300 was Everything extra we had in the budget. Literally. Well today I'm talking to a good friend and I end up getting very upset and telling her to back off because she was giving me the "you can't put a price on your health" speech. I get that! But you can't pay the doctor in chickens!! So my visit to my doctor had to be pushed back and now I can't get in for 3 months. Why would someone try to guilt you with something like this? It just adds stress to sickness. I've just been peeved all day about what she said.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Feb. 6, 2009 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • She is worried about you but still it's not okay to rub your nose in it. I'm glad you're going in even if it's in 3 months.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:09 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I can't speak for everyone, but I believe that when someone says something like that, it is probably because they have never been in a position where they had to choose between a doctor visit and paying rent or buying groceries. I know exactly what you are going through, as I have had similary medical difficulties over the past few years. It is very aggravating when someone really has no idea what I am going through, and still makes ignorant comments. But that is just it--I really think they are being IGNORANT, not malicious. Just keep in mind that you do not have to educate them about every little thing. Try to smile, and change the subject. Good luck with everything you are going through!

    Answer by littlejreece at 1:10 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Cont'd..... to go along with this... we have an out of pocket deductible of $100 for meds (beginning in Jan - I haven't met mine yet).... the dr. office charge is $225 (ins only allows $200) so that's $125 right off the top PLUS my $25 co-pay.... I just can't crap money.... and my friend is making me feel like I don't care enough about my health... truth is I care A LOT... but you can't get electricity and cable when you're homeless either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I don't think she meant any harm with what she said. Why I say that? I was broke down to the bone. I was sick. Sick as a dog. My CoPayment is only 20 bucks but I didn't have that and no one I knew had it either. I knew whatever medicine the Dr gave me I couldn't get the prescription filled because I had no money for the co pay.
    My mom came to my house personally and said I'll take you to the ER because you can't put a price on your health. Come to find out I had Pneumonia. She borrowed the money for my co pay from her boss. But the point I'm trying to make is she was just trying to look out for you. She cares because I know my mother wasn't trying to put guilt on me but wanted to slap me back to reality without using force.
    I hope you understand as I'm just trying to help.

    Answer by mommatime78 at 1:16 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • okay.. now i feel bad.. sort of.. I have good insurance... only pay 20 at the office.. 150 at the ER.. otherwise.. everything is paid for. My mom has not been to an OB/GYN since well.. about 13 years. I know she has issues.. she tells me that it feels like her insides are pulling down or ripping.. (and from her other symptoms.. sounds like prolapse .. sp?? ) I get a bit annoyed that she won't go see the doctor.. cuz the insurance they got with dad's retirement - sucks. She has to pay 100% of the doctor's visits.. and they can't afford it. I want her to go to the doctor.. cuz i LOVE her.. I don't want to see her hurt, in pain, or have something that NEEDS to be checked out. Even though - I know and understand that she can't afford it - So what do i do?


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • OP here... truth of the matter is that we care a lot about our bodies, it is not we who put a price on our health, it's the health care system. You can't pay the co-pay, you don't see the dr. You can't pay the pharmacist, no meds (except Walgreens has their script card now... but still I think that's like $20) Being poor IS a reason to be unhealthy... and God forbid those people who make too much to qualify for assistance, but can't afford medical costs. We have ins. and can pay the out of pocket, BUT it has to be budgeted and planned for. I just didn't get why my friend was so insistent; it wasn't like I could call the dr. back and say NO' I'm coming over now and you WILL See me. I made the appt....that's all I can do for now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Did it ever occur to you that maybe just maybe that friend was extremely concerned, and wanted to make sure you see a doctor right away. Maybe making you feel guilty she thought, that would actually make you see a doctor. I'm not saying that its okay to make you feel guilty, but look at the reason why that conversation even came up.


    Answer by Reggie2 at 7:58 PM on Feb. 6, 2009