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How did you deal with it?

Okay so my uncle passed away on the day of my birthday. Ever since that day i have been depressed..crying all the time and just in a state of shock. he died very quickly and was very unexpected. i am now hearing how he would always talk so highly of me and that i was his favorite. which really really breaks my heart. Has anyone ever had a relative that they were really close with pass away on their birthday, if so how did you deal with it? Do you still celebrate your birthday when it comes around? i am so lost and just hurting so much.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Sep. 1, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • No, I've never had that happen on a birthday or other holiday. How long ago did it happen? If it's been a while (longer than normal grief) then I'd suggest speaking with a therapist.

    Answer by 3libras at 7:54 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

  • it happened in May

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:56 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

  • Oh then, that's not really that long ago. It can take 9 months to a year to get back to feeling "normal" after someone close to you dies. And, of course, the next few birthdays for you, won't be easy. But, it would be that way for anyone with a heart. If you do start to feel over-whelmed though, then counseling could be beneficial.

    Answer by 3libras at 8:00 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

  • not exact on my bday however my grandpa and had the same bday so we always celebrated together and now my heart still aches every year. I write him a letter telling him I miss him then I tuck it away in a box and move on.

    You have not yet finished grieving, this is still fresh- hugs momma

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 8:00 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

  • My Gpa passed 3 days before my son's B-day & we had his funeral the day after my son's B-day. He was crushed to say the least. In fact, the poor boy had bad luck on or around his B-day for like 4 yrs. Seemed like something horrible happened & he about had himself convinced that his B-day was cursed. I had to remind him that it was a BLESSING, not a curse & after having a B-day go by smoothly he began to relax about it. Your uncle said you were his fav. & he wouldn't want you to be feeling bad on your special day. I'm sure in time you will appreciate the good times you shared & fond memories, rather than focusing on the day it all ended. *Hugs*


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:02 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

  • Lost my mom when I was 20. Not on my birthday but it was devastating. . I am sorry.

    Answer by txdaniella at 8:04 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

  • thank you ladies,,,yes it is just very hard dealing with this and i have considered counseling but i know it has not been long.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:05 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

  • Anon- if you are having hard time, whether it's a month or a year or even longer, grief counseling, whether individual or group, can help. Hospice offers it for free, even if the person who passed did not use their services.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:21 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

  • JFK was killed on my sister's 1st birthday and Princess Diana was killed on my dd's 1st birthday.

    Sorry for your loss and my sincere condolences.

    Answer by robinkane at 8:22 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

  • I had a cousin die on my birthday. It is hard to celebrate when such a thing happened but if you can celebrate their life and your birth it might help.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:49 PM on Sep. 1, 2012

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