My fiance and I have been planning on getting married in sept. because he deploys in January. When he told his parents they convinced him it was too soon so he told me he wanted to push it back until July or August of next year when he gets back. I thought he wanted to wait because he wasn't ready but found out it was because of his parents. I told him how I felt and he agreed that this year would be for the best so we agreed on September 26th. His mom tried to talk him out of it again but I was with him so it didn't work. We both spent the rest of today excited and making plans. Then at 5:30 this morning he sent me a text message telling me we have to talk about the date again. His mom called him and told him she had a dream that was a warning that we need to wait. I'm worried that this is only the beginning of them deciding things in our life. I feel like he's more concerned about pleasing them than what we agreed is best.
Answer by CooksWife at 9:06 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
Answer by gemgem at 8:47 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
Answer by tessntylersmom at 8:48 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
Yes...you call him and say you need a man who can leave and cleave....you do not need a MIL's imput everytime there is a decision. If he is not willing to make decisions without his parents influence...he is not ready to be married. Trust me....move on! Maybe MIL's dream has another meaning - the wedding is off.
Answer by MamaDiane at 8:53 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
(cont'd) and even with that you are rolling the dice a little. But let me say as military wife- you DON'T want to burn bridges if you can avoid it. Why not try sitting down all of you- let them know your intentions and how much you care. If they are good parents that have put their heart and soul into their son- maybe being able to see you for who you are (instead of the fear that it might hurt their boy) then you guys can all have a good start to an amazing life together.
Answer by CooksWife at 9:08 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
Hmmm also- We did a JP wedding because we wanted to be married as soon as possible before dh's up coming deployment. For us, we didnt' know each other very well and needed that time to get settled. ALSO- if you haven't endured a deployment before- brace yourself. Your head and heart had better be in the right place. Our guys need strong women to come home to and it IS harder than other relationships. Check in to military one source after you get married to see if you can get counseling to be the best you that you can be for him when he returns and while he is away needing stateside support.
Answer by CooksWife at 9:12 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
Answer by Fooph121780 at 9:13 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
Answer by CooksWife at 9:16 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Feb. 6, 2009
Next question in Relationships
what do i do about my husben lying to me about smoking pot