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What do I do?

I caught my husband look and really dirty porn. The history of my computer showed that he was on several porn sites and did several ditry porn searches. What do I do? I'm so sad. I feel like I've been being cheated on. I do everything, I cook and clean and pay all the bills, take care of two toddlers everyday. He doesnt do anything AND I'm in college. I feel like he doesnt give a damn. SHould I leave him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Feb. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Okay, well the way I see it, pretty much every man has looked at porn at one point or another in his life. It's not a reason to leave someone over looking at porn. If you feel like he doesn't care about what you're doing then you should talk to him about that. In my own opinion though, I don't think that him looking at porn is "cheating" on you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Maybe he feels neglected by you and he is not getting his needs met in that area, sounds like you two need to have a long talk about the responsablities and sharing them too. I dont like porn at all and I do see it as a betrail but not cheating. Talk to him and if the relationship continues to be one sided, then I would start thinking about leaving.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 10:27 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • The best advice I can offer you, is you need to talk to him. He is your husband for a reason. You should be able to go to him with anything, ESPECIALLY if it is concerning him and/or your relationship. If you are unhappy about the porn, express that. But also have reasons to back yourself up. I am not a big fan of porn either, and I told my BF that I don't want it in the house. If he wants sex, it will come from me. Yes, there are times I don't feel good, or am too tired, but I feel he can wait just like I do. Not everyone may agree, and that is fine; all that matters is my BF and I are secure in our relationship and this method works for us :)

    Good luck with everything, keep us posted>?
    sarah6183

    Answer by sarah6183 at 10:45 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • well if you are doing everything anyways, what do you need him for? Personally it sounds like he is taking advantage of you, I would sit him down and lay out some rules, or kick him out..
    rules would include getting a job and paying 1/2 the bills.
    cleaning 1/2 the house
    and doing his part.. a relationship should be 50/50. If it's not, then you need to either make it that way, or leave him..
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:34 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Sit down & talk to him about it hon. I've been there & I felt the same way you did... cheated on. (((hugs)))
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 12:17 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I've been there but then after lots of thinking I realized that I'd much prefer to find porn on my computer than to find a love note in an e-mail or to come home to some random woman in my bedroom. Looking at porn ISN'T cheating on you even though it feels that way at first. When this first happened with my husband and I, I went out and bought some magazines of naked men and left them laying around lol. It stopped his habit. Now I don't really care if he looks at it, as long as he's ONLY looking at it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

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