Too uptight???

sometimes I feel like I have totally lost all joy in everything and I am so uptight that I can't even laugh anymore. I am so tired of worrying about bills and it just makes me feel like my fiance is never even remotely concerned about anything. I don't want to be the one having to always worry whether or not something gets paid...

Last night we went to bed hugging and loving on each other and then this morning it starts over with the BS... and looking back it's mostly me that brings it up. I wish I could wake up with no worries like he does and just lets everything roll off his back but I can't. I am tired of arguing and fighting... sometimes I just wish I could take a mental vacation for about 6 months and check out for a while!!!

Does anyone else ever get this way or is it just me??? :0/

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Asked by goofygalno1 at 10:07 AM on Sep. 4, 2012 in Relationships

29217 Level 26

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I dont for he most part. I'm a go with the flow and let it roll type. I hope you get it figured out * hugs*

Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 10:10 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
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Thanks... I hope so too!!

Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
Credits: 29217 Level 26 Relationships Minor
I may be getting the wrong picture but let me see if I read this right.
You are not married but living together.
You have unpaid bills.
You are working to pay them off and are worried about geting them paid of.
Fiance (may or may not be working) but is not putting in time to figure out how to get all the bills paid off and basically drops it all on your shoulders.
Am I seeing this post correctly? Or am I reading in whay is not there?

Answer by Dardenella at 10:19 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
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Sounds like a major difference to me. I do not think this can work in the long term..

Answer by booklover545 at 10:21 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
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Marriage is a partnership and you both need to lean on each other in good times and the bad times. One of you can't mentally check out while the other carries the burden. Talk to him and let him know how you feel. If he can't share the burden with you it's not a partnership and he could go packing back to his mother, because you're not her.

Answer by robinkane at 10:25 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
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Dardenell... yeah you are reading it right... and yeah he's working. It just seems like he doesn't ever worry about the things I do. And maybe that's what gets me. We got really behind when my car was messed up. I had to put a ton of money into it because I have to keep it going so I can get back n forth to work. I just feel like I am on a spinning wheel and getting no where.

He tries to take the lighter side of things and I just get so bogged down in my mind that I can't even seem to get out of my funk. He just has this care free attitude and I feel like I am sitting here worrying about EVERYTHING!!

Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 10:25 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
Credits: 29217 Level 26 Relationships Minor
Never partner with someone who doesn't share your view of finances. It's a sure recipe for disaster. He isn't going to change. You will always be the one worrying and trying to juggle finances.

Answer by meooma at 10:27 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
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booklover... sometimes I feel the same way!! I try talking to him about things and it's like he's either not listening or something. I can tell him something and it's like he forgets what I say. I feel like I am really not being heard at times and it's getting really old. I guess that's why I feel like I haven't even wanted to set a date. I am not sure if I want to put myself through this for the rest of my life.

Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 10:28 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
Credits: 29217 Level 26 Relationships Minor
robin... I totally understand what you are saying. I feel like a lot of times I am mom to two!! Yes he works and contributes, but gosh I wish he would at least want to know what is going on. I try to talk to him about it and it's like he doesn't even care at times. I don't know if I am just taking it the wrong way or what.

I wanted to take a vacation with my bonus that I got this yr, but I had to use it for car and getting caught up on things. And we are STILL behind. It's like WTF??? Isn't anything ever going to change for me??

Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 10:31 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
Credits: 29217 Level 26 Relationships Minor
meooma... that's what I don't want. I don't want to be the only person trying to figure things out. That's what went on in the last relationship and I feel like I am setting myself up for failure again. I know deep down he loves me, but I just can't get over this. I know we shouldn't argue about money, but sheesh I am just tired!!! Tired of all the worry!! I want to sleep...

Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 10:33 AM on Sep. 4, 2012
Credits: 29217 Level 26 Relationships Minor