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6 Bumps

I'm scared, so so scared! help??

My soon to be Ex husband has sexually abused 3 of my little sisters (all of them underage), his baby niece, and possibly my daughter. We are going through the divorce and he is trying to get full custody saying I'm an unfit parent. The sexual abuse has been reported to CPS and they are investigating it but still have not gotten him to confess or convicted. I am completely terrified of him having my daughter anywhere around him. I'm so afraid of loosing her to someone I know has done these things (and probably won't stop) all because he lies, denying the accusations and then my daughter is put right in harms reach. He has always been a compulsive liar and, until the victims spoke out, has done a great job at hiding what he really is from everyone. ...can he really get away with this just by lying about it to the detective??? If he gets custody of my daughter, the same people who should be there to protect my daughter (the judge, cps) will have put her in the direct opposite of protection, right into the hands of evil for her to get hurt as much as he wants to hurt her.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on Sep. 4, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Answers (16)
  • If CPS is involved, they surely have placed a supervised visitation order on your husband? Has anyone reported this to the police? I would think if your mother and father would go to the police station, he would be charged tonight. He isn't going to get custody, unless this is some kind of lie, but with that many kids involved, please have your parents report him today.

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:37 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

  • How would he be able to prove that you are unfit? It is highly unlikely that the courts would take a child away from his / her mother unless they thought there was reason the child needed to be protected from the mother. However, he will likely still get visitation. In some cases, even if you can establish that he has abused other kids, the courts may choose to not stop visitations unless he actually abuses your daughter and you can prove it. Stop talking to him, get an attorney, tell them everything and ask others to testify if needed. Tell him all correspondence needs to be in writing.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 7:38 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

  • The first victim was reported last year and he was interviewed by the police and he denied it and it didn't go any further than that. The other two victims were just found out about yesterday and were reported to CPS today. I have reasonable concerns that he may have done it to our daughter too and he has admitted to myself and another person about his niece but denied it to the police last year.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:44 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

  • I don't think the police just say oh you said you didn't so go ahead and go home,, I would imagine they take these allegations pretty seriously.

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:50 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

  • that's exactly what happened the first time though. He simply said it was her word against his and that was the end of it. nothing more happened.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:55 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

  • where the hell do you live? I just called my cousin,, a police officer, he said you , and your parents need to go to the station, and swear out a complaint on him and do it tonight,, I hope to goodness you all do it.

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:00 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

  • Then you have some seriously corrupt or lazy officers where you live.

    Answer by kmath at 8:01 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

  • Of course he denies it. Murderers deny they murder. Thieves deny they steal. They legally charge him with a crime then prove that he did it. He can deny it all day long. I'd go to the Prosecutor's office and ask them why they are not putting his ass in jail and protecting these children. The Prosecutor has the power to get it done. A judge may suspend giving permanent custody until he's convicted or proven innocent. Until then I'd request supervised visits only.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:49 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

  • Utah. and that is how you are supposed to report things here as far as we know. if we called the cops they would just tell us we need to go through CPS anyway. and anyway the cops are involved they had to be gotten involved once it was reported to CPS anyway. I don't know what it is but it seems to me they don't have a very good system set up for it because they had my mom call an 800 number to report it and then someone from CPS comes and talks to us and interviews the kids and then the cops have to send a detective to interview the abuser and the last time they did that the detective said if he denies it it's simply the victims word against his and that was that. the cops didn't pursue it any further and now there are more victims i hope they feel really stupid for not putting him in jail. I don't understand how it just stopped the first time it was brought up with the first victim, but it did.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:15 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

  • meooma- i say soon to be ex husband cause the divorce is still not finalized other than that we haven't been together for a while. and with the report of all this, we reported it the way they had us do it (which for some reason they made us do over the phone to an 800 number) and then it goes to CPS and then the cops from there. I seriously don't get it either.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:26 PM on Sep. 4, 2012

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