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How do I tell my DH?

How do I tell my DH that I am not satisfied sexually? The sex is always the same, we get in to bed, he kisses my neck for a few seconds, rubs me for a couple seconds, he gets naked and tells me to get naked. We have sex for like 10 minutes, he finishes, some times I do and some times I do not. There is no foreplay, no spark, no fun. How do I get that back? I do not want to hurt his feelings

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Feb. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would like to know too.......I have sort of the same problem, but my hubby is a diabetic and most of the time cant get an erection :( It really does get frustating!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Do something kinky for him. Show him that doing something different can be exciting and I'm sure he'll follow. And that way you won't have to have a discussion about it. Men don't do well talking about sexual short-comings and talking about it, in my experience, will make it worse. He'll be self-conscious about having sex at all - and any sex is better than no sex!

    Buy a new "outfit", light some candles, get a babysitter, make it last hours.


    Answer by Katrinka_Renee at 11:45 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • try a toy or a new lube...

    I bought the new KY Yours/Mine lube at walmart... and it's AWESOME!

    DH really never expressed an interest in toys, but I buy some skimpy little outfits to wear, some nighties, something lacy or with ruffles...

    Set it up yourself. Right when he gets home, (or when it's convenient for you, maybe wait for him to go to bed first..) surprise him and take charge. Make him wait, tease him a little, once he gets the hint that you are drawing it out, ask him to play along!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Hey I had this issue for a while then I discovered my talents if you want to spark it up do something fun like Ibet I can do this for this long or when you think hes about to get off pretend something hurts that will force it to go on longer and if that fails bring out the toys baby. I never thought I would be into but they saved my sex life!!

    Answer by momof4520 at 11:46 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • We have Netflix and watched a Kuma Sutra video from there. We sort of committed to trying a new position every 2 weeks or so. We learned positions we hardly knew were possible!
    We also started role playing. The first one we did was teacher/ was hott!

    Answer by MamaChamp at 11:47 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • OMG I think I've been having sex with your h for the past few years! LOL (joke) What is it with men who think that's enough for us? Is he military? I've noticed over the years that some older men in the military think of sex as a functional thing and make it regimented, routine and predicable. ...and over quickly. They don't see it as a sign of love making and should be enjoyed with lots of foreplay for us! You could try telling him what you want or rolling him on his back, mounting him (without penetration yet) and be the aggressive one toying with him and playing to prolong the event.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:32 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • i got ya girl your not the only one have same thing here.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • One of your problems already is that you are worrying about HURTING his feelings. Don't you think that he should get more in tune with your needs. It is sad to hear that some women dont consider their sexual needs as important as hubbys. That is so wrong. If you can't reach a climax the normal way. there are so many other ways he can please you and to make sure you have enjoyed the experience as much as he does.

    Answer by nana2u10 at 5:47 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

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