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Helping your child from previous relationship cope with having a different last name?

has your kid/s ever been bothered by you or other siblings having a different last name than them?

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shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 8:52 AM on Sep. 5, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • my son asked the other day why he is the only one with his last name and then he asked if the baby will have his last name too :( Its sad..i don't want him to feel left out. I tried explaining to him its because i wasnt married when he was born..and i still have the same name as him, i'm just also my married name too. i don't know what else to do.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 9:01 AM on Sep. 5, 2012

  • I assume your ex is still involved in his life? If not would your now husband consider adopting him? I would say your name is Mommy's name too, it is our special name, and when you go to school hopefully they call you Mrs. Smith instead of Mrs. Johnson (you might even ask the teacher to call you by his last name.)
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:06 AM on Sep. 5, 2012

  • My 3 older kids have a different last name. When they were younger they asked why it was different from mine but never felt bad about it. They also have two younger half siblings with my new last name. It doesn't seem to bother them but they do have each other.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:10 AM on Sep. 5, 2012

  • they do refer to me as his last name at school. he does not see his dad. has not in 6 yrs. my son does call my dh dad and my dh would be happy to adopt him but my ex did sign paternity acknowledgment papers and does pay child support. so with him having signed paternity papers we would have to find a way to get him to go to court...which would probably be impossible. its better just not having contact at all with him...plus i'm happy he pays child support, its helpful.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 9:13 AM on Sep. 5, 2012

  • You could ask him if he would be willing to relinquish parental rights since he doesn't see his son, stop child support and have your current DH adopt him.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:17 AM on Sep. 5, 2012

  • Well then for now I would tell him it is the 2 of you's name, tell him that lots of people have different names, HUGGS!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:18 AM on Sep. 5, 2012

  • doesn't seem to bother them
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 9:45 AM on Sep. 5, 2012

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