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REAAALLLLY long story..what would you do? If u read this, thanks.

I was met this guy, and before we even started to date "officially" I fell really hard for him, and him for me. I knew that he had a reputation to cheat, but I thought I was special, and with the way he looked at me, he could never hurt me. I knew that this was the guy I wanted to be with forever, he was so so perfect to me. Three months into our relationship we find out I'm pregnant. We are young and afraid of what our parents will have to say, but both want children and happy to be having one. Well, when I'm a couple months along, I find out through a chain of people that he cheated on me. I. am. devastated. 'This can't be true, there's just no way' I think to myself. He is working, so I go to his job to confront him about it, and his boss allows him outside to talk with me. Tears start pouring down my face and he tells me its not true, that his ex (who he supposedly cheated on me with) is just spreading rumors. cont..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Feb. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • I'm not sure what to believe so I ask him to give me the password to his computer so I can make sure there is nothing he is hiding there and that he is telling me the truth. He gives me the password, I find nothing, and so I believe him. Then one day I get a message from his ex telling me all about what they had done. So, not only did he cheat on me, but he lied to me about it when I confronted him about it. When I confront him again, he tried to lie, but when I show him the message he knows there is no denying it. Now, I love him more than anything in the world, and I am pregnant with his child, and don't want our relationship to end, so I let it go and try to be confident that things will work out. Everything is fine and dandy for a while. He is living with me at this point. I am not 8 months pregnant. I come home one day (he is out with a friend) to find his AIM open and IM that had popped up while he was away. cont..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • It was girl and she said she was disappointed that they couldn't get together last night, and that she had been wearing a skirt, all the better to "fuck" him in. My heart just sinks, and my hands tremble in a cold sweat. So..I call him up, he tries acting like it's nothing and like it's a joke (God I can't stand when they are around other men). I tell him I want him to come home so we can talk about this, and thats when he gets mad...HE gets mad at ME. He doesn't want to come home just to listen to me bitch at him, he wants to be with his friend. I won't have his shit, I tell him to come fucking home. He tells me that, yes, he was going to get with his ex AGAIN, but she still lives with her mother, and her mother found out she was going to see him, and wouldn't let her leave the house (her mother does like him). He grovels, and he is good at, and once again, I let it go. Esp, because nothing happened. cont..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • . EVERYTHING goes well for a long time after that, our daughter is born, and man is she beautiful. I talk to my best friend about how I still worry about him cheating, but she assures me that becoming a dad and seeing your child born changes a man. And he does seem changed, so I am content for the most part, other than that thought always in the back of my head. I always have to know where he is. He always has to come home on time, and if he doesn't I expect him to call me and let me know. And he does. There is never a time I don't know where he is. I get pregnant again with our second child. We get married. And that's when I feel I can completely just let it go, I really feel I can let myself trust him again. I am about 2 months pregnant now. *sigh* Then one day while he is at work, I decide I want to go to Burger King, and on my way home I take back roads (his ex's street is amongst those backroads). cont..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I glance down her street as I drive by, and as I pass it, I stop, turn around, and go down it. I saw his car there, outside of her house. Here comes that feeling again. My heart races, my body gets cold, and I start trembling. I pull up in front of his car and park (my daughter is asleep in her carseat incase you were wondering). Now, I'm not sure what to do, I'm not sure if he is in there, because I know he has a friend on this street, so I don't want to go to up her door and him not be there and me look like a COMPLETE fool. So, I call him and call him, and call him. He never answers, and as I ponder my next move, I see him walk out her door. I jump out of my car and I just go OFF at him. It definitely was NOT pretty, when I am done I get in the car and drive home. He is there when I get there. He tells me that they just talked, he just wanted to see how she was doing. cont..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • BLAH BLAH BLAH. At this point I am just SO TIRED OF THIS GIRLS EXISITENCE. I WANT HER TO FALL OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. WHY is she asking my HUSBAND and FATHER of my children to come to her house to talk, and WHY does he feel its necessary TO TALK. I don't understand why he can't just drop her and just forget about her. We both only have one ex, and we were with those other people for a long time. I still talk to to my ex, and he is OK with that, but then, I am trust worhty. He cheated on me, and it will NEVER be OK for him to talk to her, i'm sorry, it just won't be. He assured me that NOTHING happened, and the next day he told her that he can't talk to her anymore, that he "doesn't want to fuck up his life". So, I let it go again. cont..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • But ever since then, I just feel so unsure, and so hurt. I had FINALLY felt I could trust him again and it was all just shattered. I feel as though he will never stop wanting to check up on her. I KNOW KNOW KNOW in my heart that this man DOES love me, and he really is a GREAT daddy to our daughter, and he is the sole provider of our family, I would be lost without him, I feel he is my other half, and yet I am afraid I will get hurt again. I just feel really lost sometimes. Do you think I am insane for wanting to make this work and for believeing it can?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • No, you are not insane, but if you stay with him, you have to expect him to cheat again. He may love you, but he is never going to be monogamous. I am sorry this happened to you.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 2:58 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • You're not insane for wanting to make it work, of course you do. But you have to try your hardest to think about the true facts and everything that has happened. I truely believe once a cheater, always a cheater. I am 5 months prego now and just broke up with my BF cause I found some stuff that had to do with him cheating. I had to let it go. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but it had to be done. Its not healthy for you or your kids to worry about this all the time. Its not fair.
    musikdoll

    Answer by musikdoll at 3:02 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • OMG, First let me just say I don't how old you are but from my experience it sounds to me like you are not really in love with the man and that you are just in love with this mans potential. It is a very hard thing to hear and even harder to recognize but when you do, you will be thankful for it. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Thats my belief. It's very unfortunate that theres a child now involved. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but even if I did, it wouldn't last long because you're in a situation that is not going away any time soon. Think more about that child and less about that cheater because you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't. I hope to God I don't sound mean an uncaring because thats not me at all. Just trying to help. Send me a msg and I will give you my email if you need to talk about this more. HUGE HUGS
    mom_wrhsc

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 3:03 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • no I dont think you are crazy. Confused yes but not crazy. Maybe you should leave him for like a week and see what happens. Maybe he needs to realize what he could lose if he keeps doing what he is doing. You need to let him know how you feel. He probably keeps doing it because he feels like he can do it and then apologize and make it all better. You cant let him get away with. My heart is breaking for you while I was reading this. You deserve for him to treat you better. You will get through this it will just take a little bit of putting your foot down.
    Aidansmom2728

    Answer by Aidansmom2728 at 3:07 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

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