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How can I get more attention from him...?

Hubby and I have been married just under a year, but we've been together eleven years. We have two children (6 & 3). I get NO attention from him. Not the attention I want, anyway. I want him to dote on me, to give me positive attention, to tell me how much he cares about me, and to do things to SHOW that he loves me.

Now, I know how guys can be, and sometimes you have to tell them point blank what you want, otherwise they may not know. I have done this....over, and over and over again, and he just doesnt seem capable of doing it. He does nothing but go to work, come home and sit himself on the couch for the rest of the night.

I just want to be loved. I want to feel needed. I want to be appreciated. I need him to show me all of this. I dont know what else to do. The feeling is taking over me though...it is getting difficult to get through day to day dealing with this over and over again. Why isnt he capable?...(con't)

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ItsMeCaseyLynn

Asked by ItsMeCaseyLynn at 4:23 PM on Feb. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Nah, never mind. I forgot what I wanted to say in my continued post, lol.
    ItsMeCaseyLynn

    Answer by ItsMeCaseyLynn at 4:24 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I remembered what I wanted to say now. I honestly think its because of my weight gain. I am 75 pounds heavier right now than I used to be. I can't seem to stop eating...I am gaining and gaining. I know my body is far from what is used to be, and I know he likes my old body. I think maybe I just turn him off. He says he doesnt care about my weight and that it makes no difference, but I know him better than that. It just hurts, you know?
    ItsMeCaseyLynn

    Answer by ItsMeCaseyLynn at 4:32 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Well I sort of have the same issue but not quite. My fiancee and I have been together now for almost 7 years and we have one, one year old daughter. My fiancee likes to always point out what needs done or what I haven't done such as laundry or something. It seems like when I do things he doesn't notice or he does and doesn't say anything a bout it. I feel unappreciated a lot too. The only time he seems to dote on me in before we go to bed and that lasts about maybe 15 minutes. If you have told him over and over again that you want more attention then I would stop doing small little things for him. Make him realize that you do things for him and that it would be nice of him to notice and give you attention. That and maybe try having someone else watch the kids one night and make him go out to dinner with you or something where you guys can maybe talk. GOod luck I hope this helps a little.
    Bamzakarat

    Answer by Bamzakarat at 4:32 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I'm an "attention needy" like you describe yourself. When I feel like I'm needy and not getting, I go over to where he's sitting and I sit right on his lap facing him. I hold his face and kiss him. Nothing sexual (although if it happens, okay). But it's more about redirecting his immediate attentions. I do it often enough that he gets the hint.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 4:32 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I've been there...I finally got tired of it and isolated myself in the computer room every day. Now he complains because I never bother with him. lol. Now he comes up to me all the time trying to give me attention. Jerk...lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Go out and get the book titled Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:14 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I am going thru the exact thing! We've been married 17 yrs now, there is NO romance at all!! How hard is it to write a little love note or buy a card at the $ store? I think you have to have some romance in your relationship, you've got to keep courting each other! He doesn't understand why I'm never in the mood! Well show me some attention other than when your horny & maybe I'd be in the mood as well!! I wish I could give you some advice but if he's still not getting it, he probably won't ever get it! Sorry!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

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