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if you notice that someone's child isn't developing properly, should you speak up or hold your tongue?

we have a family member who's daughter is about to turn 2 & isn't talking. she can make the "lalala" sounds & can say "dye dye" for "bye bye", but that's all she can really say. we've questioned wether she may have a hearing problem or a speech problem & talked about it with other family members who think the same thing. the parents seems completely unconcerned. however, we have a 2 year old who can count & say her abc's & do things a lot of other kids her age aren't doing. i want to speak up for the sake of the child, but we don't want them to think we're just being obnoxious parents & comparing our kids. there's other milestones that their daughter hasn't hit yet & i really wish they would take her for testing.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Feb. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • I wouldn't say anything. When she goes to her pedi if something needs to be said it will be done there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Do you have Child Finds in your area? If you do, maybe bring it up to the mother and ask if she would like to go with you. They evaluate the kids and make sure they are developing properly. I took my child to one and they observed his speech and told me he needed futher evaluations. He had speech therapy and it worked wonders with him. Then if there is a problem, she can hear it from professionals and hopefully won't think you're being intrusive. But give it time, her daughter may just be a late bloomer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Hold your tongue, that job is for a Dr.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:57 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Also, kids develop totally different from others. My step daughter walked at 8 months, but could not talk very well until she was 3. She still has speech problems now & she is 8, although she is VERY smart. She is very active though, the best female sports enthusiast in her school. Maybe you should MYOB, & let the parents deal w/ it. Not all parents want to openly talk about if there child is delayed or not. It would really annoy me off of someone was comparing there child's developments to my child's.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:01 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Yeah but not everyone's child see's a doctor regularly. I would go to her with a major spirit of humility. Let her know you're not trying to run her life or tell her what to do, or bring her child down. But that you really are concerned. Have written expert advice on speech development for her age. She may or may not listen. If she gets upset, just leave the information at her house and she may end up looking at it once the ego wears off.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 5:01 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • ps...I would want someone to do it for me. I'm a first time mom and I don't know everything. I believe in "it takes a village" when it comes to life.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 5:02 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I wouldn't say anything. Chances are they know what's going on with their own child. Maybe there are circumstances you are not aware of. It's like telling a fat person they are fat. Obviously they are already aware of their condition.


    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 5:13 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Kids develope at different paces. If she was 4, then I would say something. 2 is still very young. What she is doing is still age appropriate.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 6:35 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I wouldn't say anything just yet. My son is about to turn 3. When he had just turned 2 we went on vacation and at the time he wasn't very verbal. From that time till the time we moved (Feb to Aug) he started talking SOOO much. Believe me there is a big difference in just a few months. Plus, if she has been to the doctor and the doc is not concerned then you shouldn't be either. I would be angry if someone said something about my son not talking. I was already handling it. How do you know they aren't as well.

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 6:38 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • It really depends on you relationship with the parents. I would go to them and say I am not trying to criticize your parenting or compare the children, but I am concerned about your daughters development because XYZ.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:15 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

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