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6 yo being mean to his friend...should I step in?

My 6yo stepson is playing with a boy who's a little older from our neighborhood. I know that he LOVES when this particular boy comes over to play, he lights up when he comes to the door. HOWEVER, everytime he comes by, my ss starts being really bossy, annoying and downright mean to him. Luckily the other boy is older and will flat out say "Stop or I will leave", but my ss just keeps right on at it. It's nothing so major that I NEED to step in, but I can tell that his friend is getting tired of it and I'm afraid he won't come back one of these times! Is this the kind of lesson that he needs to learn on his own? Or should I step in and explain to him that he is going to have trouble making/keeping friends when he acts like such a brat to them?
Any advice?

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Asked by stepmom929 at 5:50 PM on Feb. 6, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 12 (920 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I would just tell him "If you keep acting like that and being mean, he isn't going to come back." Just kind of put it out there that you think he's being mean without making a big deal out of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Sounds like a perfect opportunity to learn a lesson. But I may tell him that if he keeps acting bossy to his friend then he may not want to come over to play.


    Answer by mom2twobabes at 5:53 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • He won't learn he's wrong unless someone tells him. His friend can just get annoyed an leave...but he may not learn the lesson cause he's young and may not understand. I would talk to him...and let him know if he wants to keep friends, he needs to treat them the way he'd want to be treated.


    Answer by momjoy1027 at 5:55 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • As I was sending this I had to step in because I heard the other little boy yelling "PLEASE STOP!!!" so I went in and told him that his friend will surely want to go home if he keeps treating him so badly...He's calmed down a little but I think I'm going to do my best to stay out of it and maybe tell him again, once his friend leaves, that I thought he wasn't being a very fun friend to play with...I hope he learns his lesson - it's kind of sad to sit here and watch this happen but I really think it will have more of an effect on him to hear his friend say he wants to leave - rather than me stepping in over and over...

    Answer by stepmom929 at 5:56 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • My son isn't anywhere near that age, but I remember when I was about 6 me and some of my girl friends were gossiping about another girl. My mom explained to me that it wasn't nice and that she expects more out of me, and that is something that has stuck with me to this day. I appreciate that she explained it to me, and I feel it has made me a better person. Also, you don't know who else your son is treating that way when you are not around. I'm sure you would not want him bullying other kids. My advice would be to talk to him and save him some heartache and trouble in having to figure it all out on his own.

    Answer by hilary1122 at 5:58 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • You tell him in front of his friend to stop acting that way because friends dont treat each other like crap.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Or should I step in and explain to him that he is going to have trouble making/keeping friends when he acts like such a brat to them?
    Any advice?

    yes please do that, you have to teach kindness and how to be a friend or he will be all alone, help him b4 it is too late, and if he loses teh friend, you can talk to him about wht to do diff next time..

    Answer by AmaliaD at 6:03 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • kids learn language and behaviors, whenhe acts mean, ask him, who says that to you/does that to you~ how does it make you feel, maybe some kid in prek is doing it to ss, and he is learning it somewhere... check out the background too.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 6:04 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I would talk to him about it. Ask how he would feel if someone did ____ to him, would he want to play with that person. How would he like a friend to treat him etc. I think the bossiness is natural at that age, and we are not born knowing how to act we learn it. SO ..... a talk is not a bad thing, after friend is not there. Also discuss natural consequences and allow nature to take his course.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 12:39 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I would point out the consequence to him. And then when that older boy decides to never come back, tell him I told you so, but in a nicer way, lol.

    Answer by feesharose at 1:48 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

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