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Help with cousins...

I have 2 boys, O is 4, J is 1.5. My sister has 2 boys: M, almost 5 and A, who is 7. We watch M at our house 2-4 times a week when A is usually in school. O and M have a great time and always play well together, often including J in their games. Recently whenever A will also be in the mix- whether it's an off day for school, or we're going to my sis's house, or whatever- O immediately begins to say negative things about A. (Like he doesn't want him to be there/come over; that A always wins; that A always wants to "battle",etc) He will even say things that aren't true sometimes. A is very kind to O and I'm not sure where this is coming from... I want him to stop and my sis thinks he's being "rude". (I do NOT think he's trying to hurt A or my sis's feelings.) Please let me hear what you think and any suggestions.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Feb. 6, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (2)
  • I am sure he is not trying to be rude. I would just let him know that what he is doing is not nice. And ensure your sister that you are talking to him and taking care of things and that he is only 4 so she may need to be patient until he grows out of the stage.

    Answer by hannahwill at 11:47 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • I wonder if its a jealousy thing. Since O and M play so well together when A isn't around is it possible that M pays more attention to A, possibly leaving O out, when A is there? Children can get very attatched to each other and when someone is added to the mix it can be upsetting to them. I'm sure O will grow out of it soon. Just make sure O knows that when he says those things it hurts A's feelings. Maybe also ask if he would like it if A said those things about him.

    Answer by Charbear76 at 10:49 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

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