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My 13 Y O daughter doesn't like material objects or money!

I need advice on my daughter. She says that she does not like material objects or money. She gives her birthday/Christmas money and her stuff away and does not take care of it. Today, I let her use my computer and she got an error and a virus and she did not tell me, or care about it, or even apologize. She just does not have respect for material objects, and she is rather proud of it. Thankfully I ran a scan and got rid of it. I am confused as to weather I should have respect her for being non-materialistic, or if I should do anything.

 
felicia0923

Asked by felicia0923 at 11:28 PM on Feb. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (15)
  • Well if she gives away her school supplies then so be it, doesn't mean you have to buy her any more, it's called a life lesson. She's being rebellious in a very creative way lol. When she needs new clothes, go to the second hand store, that way if she gives them away you know that you only spent a couple of bucks on them instead of hundreds, or better yet, make her work around the house for money so she can buy her own stuff lol. Best of luck to you, you have a most original daughter and that's not a bad thing
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:24 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • It is OK to be non-materialistic BUT she should be respectful to other people's belongings. I wouldAsk her to be more respctful about personal property but let her know you respect the fact that she doesn't like to have material objects or money.
    hannahwill

    Answer by hannahwill at 11:35 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Well, it's one thing to not be materialistic and quite another to not appreciate or respect her own or other's material things. If she doesn't care about them, then just don't give her anything else, but tell her you expect her to be responsible with what she already has. Also, she needs to be made to understand that she is to respect things that belong to others. If she doesn't then don't let her use your things.

    BlessedMommy64

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 11:36 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • She may be non-materialistic but even so, she should have respect for your belongings. I would say that if she can't be respectful to your belongings, then she is not permitted to use them.
    happymom0724

    Answer by happymom0724 at 11:39 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • Yeah, I already revoked her computer privileges indefinitely, ( A very long indefinite!) That was just an example. But, what should I tell her when she gives away or does not take care of her basic stuff that she needs? Like her clothes or she will give away her school supplies then ask me to buy her more b/c she is out. Like pencils or paper or whatnot. What really gets me is when she gets money, instead of buying something nice, that I think she needs, she will wither it away on little junk like gum or cheap jewelery, or other stupid stuff. Should I give her the right to do that or not? Help!
    felicia0923

    Answer by felicia0923 at 12:01 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Have her give the money to charity or save it for college. Is she using this for an excuse not to be productive? She also needs to understand the difference between frivolous things and necessities like school supplies. Until then, keep her supplies stored and dole them out to her. If she fritters away gift money on junk jewelry, she has lost her argument on school supplies.
    callmeann

    Answer by callmeann at 12:09 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • If she gives her stuff away, or doesn't take care of it and then tells you she needs more, I would just remind her that you bought it once, she chose not to keep it or take care of it or whatever, and inform her that she will have to figure out how to get by without it or buy it herself with her own money. Kids learn how to treat people and things by what they allowed to get away with. If you don't like the behavior, nip it immediately and let her know it's not gonna be tolerated. She needs to know that there is an appropriate way to behave and until she learns to behave respectfully, she needs to be on a "very short leash" otherwise, it will just get worse.

    BlessedMommy64

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 12:21 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Your daughter needs to show others material objects with respect. I would not allow my daughter to use the computer for a while. If things were not just given to her maybe she would care a little more of material objects. In a way it's nice your daughter is happy with what she has and does not feel like she needs to keep up with her peers. She should however show you appreciation and take care of your property.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 2:46 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • if you have give any when she was small toy she will not like money or objacts
    shazrina

    Answer by shazrina at 6:24 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Stop giving her things you know she won't end up keeping. I don't know how she's even ALLOWED to give away things that YOU brought.

    I agree that she does need to have respect for other people's property...she might not want to take of her own things, but damned if she should be allowed to break up/ruin other people's stuff.

    My answer would be just stop giving her stuff. Period.
    .Peaches.

    Answer by .Peaches. at 6:04 PM on Feb. 7, 2009