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How can i get my husband to tell me how he feels

when we get into it his first option is to just leave, because he says were never going to get anywhere and i try telling him that if we could talk about things we could make things better but he doesnt seem to understand that. When i actually do get him to sit and "talk" with me i do all the talking and he fiddles with something, doesnt say anything, just nods when i ask if hes listening, and the answer to everything is a mumbled i dont know. Then i get exausted from talking tell him it is his choice if he wants to leave, he doesnt leave, we dont talk for a while, then things go back to normal until it all happens again.Im starting to feel like i might not care either, i do love him but all of the arquing is exhausting.I just dont know what to do anymore.

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Asked by brittany2618 at 12:53 AM on Feb. 7, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • You might consider a neutral third party to get involved. Yes, a marriage counselor or a clergyman.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:20 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • We go through the same issue ALL of the time. All I can say is be patient and pick your issues that you need to push and back off from some. I feel your pain!

    Answer by hannahwill at 1:28 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • omg I'm going through the same thing!! I try to get him to talk so we could fix things, but he keeps implying that things aren't getting anywhere and I could just leave. Then when we do talk, he just.. uggh I'm describing your situation.. up to the point where things go back to normal and then happens all over again. I have no idea what to do anymore.. sorry I can't help =(

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 2:01 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I had a similar problem with my other half! Every time we fought he would run for the door. I tried standing in front of it, taking his keys, screaming, crying. Then we got to the point where he wouldn't leave. So he tried to kick me out! And every time I would argue or cry....... Well one time I didn't cry or argue. I just simply left, I thought it was over then and there. But what i didn't know as soon as I left he called his sister. He couldn't believe I had done it! His sister asked him "Do you want her to come back?" He said "YES!" So anyway he called me at my parents and asked if I would come home and talk to him. We've been great ever since. I am not saying leave your husband, but do something unusual, to kind of throw him off balance, to make him think.

    Answer by irishmaiden26 at 2:29 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Or you might just forget about asking him how he feels. Men don't like to talk for some odd reason. This is one of the cases of "actions speak louder than words" I assume you knew how he felt when you married him. Sometimes too much talk is too much talk.Stop asking, maybe he doesn't like to be confronted. On a personal note, if my husband cornered me at every turn and asked how I felt, It would piss me off and I would clam up.It gets old sometimes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

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