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Am I being Selfish?

After having our second child we agreed that it would be good for me to have my tubes tied. Well about two years ago I had this nagging feeling and it has only progressed and gotten worse. I want another baby so badly but my husband and I have sat down and talked about it and he says that we already have two babies. That we don't need anymore but I stressed the point that I can't change how I feel. He wants me to surpress how I feel. The money is not an issue and we can always make room.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Feb. 7, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (6)
  • Don't have your tubes tied until you're absolutely sure. If you believe in God, pray about it. If its something that is truly meant to be, his heart will be opened to another child. If it's not meant to be then you will gain some understanding and come be okay with the decision.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 12:21 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I'm confused, do you have your tubes tied already?

    Don't do anything permanent until you're 100% sure it's the right choice for you and you can be at peace. But at the same time, respect your husbands desires as well and don't just get pregnant behind his back. Only time and discussions will work this out.

    Answer by munch12502 at 12:26 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I don't feel it is selfish to want another child ,you can't help what you feel ..feelings are just that :feelings, they are neither good nor bad. it is what we do with them that can be negative or positive.

    Answer by gardeneraholic at 1:45 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I dont think you should tie your tubes until your are sure, and who knows he might change his mind in the future, put yourself in his shoes what if he wanted another child and you didnt. marriage is about comprimise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Getting your tubes tied is ur choice. It is your body. Just like if he had to get a vasectomy it would be his choice. He may not be ready for another child now, but eventually the ones u have will grow up and BOTH of you will miss having a little one around.... :)

    Answer by Duskee at 4:09 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Okay so I took this question as being are you selfish? No, you are not. And My mother actually felt the same way. She also had her tubes tide. And from how I read this, you already have you tubes tide right? If that is so there are still choices, if you do want to have children again. Getting your tubes untied has some risk, but there is also adoption as an option. Which I am sure you have considered. Though I don't believe this is selfish, it is not solely your decision either. Perhaps more talking is required, or more understanding of both your perspective and your husbands, as to your reasons to wanting another child, and his reasons for not wanting more children.

    Answer by Sunshine_Rose at 11:20 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

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