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3 Bumps

Sorry teachers out there but really ( Jr High )

Already, not even six weeks into school teacher sent home a note saying my son needed after school detention for missing work. My son showed me in his notebook the graded paper.
So ya a 80 vs a 0 makes a difference in his overall average.

To me teachers schould be one of the most organized professions - they should be organized.
Loosing papers and grades is so frustrating to us parents.

I feel, I'm not in a position to take sides, I don't know who screwed up. Did my kid forget to turn it in or did the teacher loose it?

Last year, i had a teacher get up and walk out of a meeting because i would not lay all the blaim on my daughter for a missing paper. My daughter showed me the rough drafts, ect. And yes, maybe she never did the finnal copy OR maybe the teacher did misplace it. I don't know, I wasn't there to see her turn it in or not turn it in.

So as a parent how do you handle this?

Again, already this year it's happening. Already frustrated with the school and teachers.

And on a lesser note: teachers that take forever to grade papers.

I know, its a lot and they do a lot at home - but they knew these things when they became teachers. The computer grading systems show outstanding grades, i question my kids, did you do this page, there is no grade - it leaves a question of how your child is doing in that class - there are no grades, so how do you know.

Is it also customanry for kids to never bring anything home?

They say the teacher won't let them bring their folders home, everything stays in the classroom - well, i'd like to see the work their doing.


Asked by SassySue123 at 1:01 AM on Sep. 21, 2012 in

Level 22 (15,154 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • YEah I sorta had that problem today. My daughter is in Kindergarten, but apparently she has been bringing home some work to show me and I was supposed to see that she understood the work and sign the paper. She had been bringing home papers for a couple weeks and today I was reprimanded that I hadn't signed any of her homework. I was not aware that I was supposed to sign the papter. WAs that my 5 year old's fault or the teacher's for not making that clear? Also I have signed a few forms and left it in my daughter's folder and back pack to give to the teacher but she still hasn't collected them yet. So how do I even know she's checking for the work she brought home?

    Answer by uwmilf at 1:35 AM on Sep. 21, 2012

  • I used to love teaching, then I had to deal with parents who believe their children over me.  I work hard, I do what I am supposed to do, yet for some reason I am always the disorganized liar over a student.  

    98% of the time when I am confronted by a parent, I am NOT the one lying, nor was it I who made the mistake. Do  make mistakes?  Yes, I do.  But most of the it is the child that is lying or just trying to cover for their errors. 

    In addition, I encourage my students to take papers home. Do you want to know where they end up?  Either in their lockers, or the trash can.


    Answer by layh41407 at 6:21 AM on Sep. 21, 2012

  • Oh, and by the way, I really have seen children smirk like that when their parent berate me for what they feel wasn't their child's fault.

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:22 AM on Sep. 21, 2012

  • My kids are in 6th, 7th, and 9th grades and I have never had an issue where a teacher lost a paper. Missed recording a grade? Yeah I can see that but it's never happened. I would take exception if a teacher said my child didn't turn something in because they are responsible straight A students, but I also wouldn't blame the teacher or let my kids say anything disrespectful about the teacher.
    Maybe you need to get involved in the school system? Be the change. I made sure when we bought our house that it was in a good district with good schools and overall good teachers.

    Answer by missanc at 6:35 AM on Sep. 21, 2012

  • To Uwmilf's comment above, sounds like it's the teacher's fault. Usually they send kids home with a paper saying what parents need to do. As for SassySue, I feel ya and it sounds like it's the teacher's fault again. I have seen multiple sides of this issue. I've known friends who were very questionable teachers and even friends of friends who are teachers that go out to drink on a weeknight regularly and misplace things. I helped a former teacher friend once set up for her classroom last minute and you kno what she did? She went over to the next teacher's room and copied everything.It's easy to blame kids. Also, teachers tend to be Type A personalities and also tend to have a lot of narcissism. In school, I actually proved several times when teachers lost something or missed an appointment with me (all by email so it was easy to prove). And then, there was 1 teacher that drank from a whiskey bottle hidden in her closet...

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:18 AM on Sep. 21, 2012

  • Make sure the school knows you stand behind your children and attend school board meetings to voice your concerns. The things that happen to kids can scar them for life, especially when it's not their fault. Question everything, document everything and if you get enough other parents involved, you can demand better quality. In my area, they fired all of the teachers at this one school because none of the kids were passing their state tests.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:25 AM on Sep. 21, 2012

  • Can you communicate with the teacher about the assignment? Sounds like the grade wasn't recorded. Start there.

    You also can ask the teacher about the folders staying in the classroom issue sometime. Just ask about that policy. That can confirm it & also shed light on why it's in place.

    I wouldn't assume my kids are lying/at fault, either, "just because." I do think kids may lie if they are feeling like they "have" to (fearful of consequences, or feeling accused by parent or interrogated & therefore defensive) so it's not like it's an impossibility, but there's no reason to default to assuming the worst.

    Obviously I don't know about the tone/what happened in your conference last year, but in both examples it sounds to me like you are standing back from arriving at a firm conclusion (in yourself) about "what happened" in either direction (teacher/student) than like you militantly & blindly "side with" your children.

    Answer by girlwithC at 7:37 AM on Sep. 21, 2012

  • I guess I'd just hope to respond to the surprising & upsetting news (detention notice) with the evidence of the missing grade, recognizing that mistakes happen.
    Also, my irritation might tell me more about my worries & dread ("oh no, it's starting already!") based on my feelings about negative past experiences than it tells me about the actual situation in the present. What if this ends up being an isolated situation? Why bring blame (of teacher) into it?
    I try to identify my (valid) feelings for their cause or triggers, rather than venting them in the present as if THIS situation was the "cause" of them. (My perspective is that your feelings may tell you that you've had those negative experiences, you very much don't want to repeat them, and you're fearful about getting "stuck" there again.)
    Just as I don't want to assume negatively about my kids, I don't want to foster adversarial relationships with teachers!
    Your irritation

    Answer by girlwithC at 7:52 AM on Sep. 21, 2012

  • I think if teachers sent home a letter of how she runs her class and what to expect for the year it would make everyone's lives much easier. If you want a parents signature, get a stamp with a signature line on it that says Parents, Please sign:___________________.

    Also the teacher could explain in that letter her expectations for the year.

    Answer by robinkane at 8:07 AM on Sep. 21, 2012

  • might also tell you something about the situation. (Generally, feelings of irritation or blame signal that some need of ours isn't being met in the situation.) Annoyance or frustration, or critical feelings of blame about what happened could reflect that you wish for more constructive communication, less unnecessary disruption & stress. This could mean that you wish that she would direct her issue to your son (giving him the chance to produce the work THEN & resolve the issue there), or if he DID have the chance when he got the notice, then you wish that he would RESPOND, not wait to "show her up" at home!

    Either way, the feelings can mean & be something other than an indication that someone "deserves" blame & irritation.

    I find honest "I wish" statements very helpful for clarity. (So, you express what you wish had happened & then maybe learn how the process doesn't allow for checking with students about missing grades....)

    Answer by girlwithC at 8:09 AM on Sep. 21, 2012