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How do i get rid of the grip he has on me?

I moved out of my parents house and into my bf's parents house when i turned 18 (stupid choice!!) we had been together for either 3 or 4 months, dont know dont care, and i thought i was happy and in love. The FIRST time we had sex I got pregnant. He turned into a completely different person so I left him. I am now with one of my exes who I only broke up with cause of my dad. We are very happy and love the baby very much. He treats it like its his own. The Father is obsessed and calls me all the time just to talk. He says it makes him feel closer to the baby. I let him see him 3 times a week since the baby is only a few months old, but every time i drop him off he wants to "talk" and that lasts for like 3 hours each time. Its always about how much he loves me and how happy we were and he just wont stop. Long story short, he is obsessed I want him to see his son, but i dont wanna deal with the obsession what do i do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Feb. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • you could have someone go with you to take your son to him or have someone take your son to him that way your not alone or there

    Answer by wendy232425 at 4:54 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Well if you dont like the obsession then talking to him for 3 hours everytime you go over there is the LAST thing you should be doing. Next time tell him you cant stay, and DONT.

    Answer by ArmyWifeNewMom at 4:57 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • every time i go my fiancee is out waiting in the car for me. But this guy doesnt care. He just keeps talkin and makin me feel like crap all the time and i dont know what else to do :( THis guy still lives with his parents so i cant exactly bring my fiancee in to his house.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I even had my dad take me once and it still didnt work

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • You need to tell him to stop contacting you if its not about your child then he doesn't need to be calling or wanting to talk about anything, he has to relaize that whatever you guys had was in the past and you have moved on from that now, and you need to tell him that he needs to do the same

    Answer by hautemama83 at 4:58 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • i dont wanna be mean though, thats part of he problem.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Well, I too have to be mean. You got your own self into this mess, you figure it out. You are now a mom, it's not about you anymore. Sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Too bad sometimes you have to be mean for them to just get the hint that its not appropriate for him to be doing that, really by you just playing miss nicey nice you are just leading him on

    Answer by hautemama83 at 5:05 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • You need to move to standard visits with the child. Every other weekend, drop off at a public location and maybe even have someone else be with you at the drop off. That should end it.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:09 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • This is a problem that you have created. You say that he calls and you talk to him. Cut those calls short. Obviously he is getting something out of this and so are you. You don't have to take the baby three times a week. It is called "Boundaries" You need to make some. Now you are living with an ex. How is this different this time. What if you get pregnant again. Remember it only took one time to get pregnant. Sit and have a wake up call with yourself and what you want in your future. I don't want to seem mean but You have already made some life changing bad choices. Think about your baby.

    Answer by grannywilson at 5:11 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

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