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When is enough enough? Though he has never hit me or cheated on me physically(that I know of, though he has had several "internet affairs"), he is not a nice man. He is mean to me when he talks to me, we have nothing in common anymore. All he wants to do is hang out w/ his friends & drink. He spends money that we don't have. Everything is all about him, what he wants. He makes fun of me because I am a born again Christian. I am happy because God gives me happiness, but I am unhappy at the same time. He is going out tonight w/ his brother and a couple of guys from work (who are not good influences on him). I am afraid that he is going to cheat on me. I try to be a good wife, I bend over backwards for him. I just don't know what to do. Advice? Kind words? Prayers?

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Feb. 7, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (18)
  • I think you already know the answer. Now gather your resources, including family, friends, social-service agencies, money, minister, legal information, and a box of tissues.

    Answer by GoddessLily at 6:03 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I will pray for you but you have to pray your self and ask God to give you an anwer and dont stop praying for him please .... HE needs the Lord so let the Lord tell you what you need to do....
    God bless you
    I love ya sister. if you ever need to talk you can message me

    Answer by hinson7169 at 6:10 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • You can only do so much and the rest must come from within him. It sounds as if he isnt willing to change so you can either live as is or make a positive change for yourself and any children you may have.

    Personally, he sounds very selfish and like someone who doesnt give a rats buttocks about anyone but himself and he is probably controlling in some way too. You dont deserve that. The god you have a relationship with wouldnt want his child to go through that either. Take a stand, go make a happy life elsewhere.
    GL to you!

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 6:11 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I have no education, no job,. no money, no family, no friends, nothing. I am terrified of being a single mom. I am so afraid to be alone

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • But those are things you can get.

    What price are you willing to pay for your fear? Teaching your children that its ok to be treated(or treat women, if you have sons) like trash and to be walked over? To let your self-esteem get to the point of non-existence so you arent even a person anymore, just a doormat?

    Ive seen dont want this. You are strong and you can survive. You dont need HIM to have a happy home, life, partnership,etc. Those are things that can be found elsewhere, he isnt the only one who can provide them.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 6:15 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Men feel threatened when God enters the picture. And people that decide to live for Christ think everything will be peachy-keen once they do - however, real life is messy: it seldom shapes up the way we want or expect it to. LOL.

    My husband was the same way for a long time. It's insecurity and FEAR. Has he always been disrespectful, or just since you decided to live for Christ Jesus? Has he always gone out with the guys - or more so since you started living a different lifestyle? It could be that his behavior is a fallout reaction. That doesn't make it right, but it does make it understandable. I will pray for you. God knows the situation and He sees it clearer than we do ... (((HUGS)))


    Answer by snowgirl79 at 6:48 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I am so afraid to be alone

    You are not alone! I am here and so are other Believers who can support you and listen when you want to talk.

    God is with you too! Never forget that: God is inside you, and walking beside you every step of the way. He knows and sees what we do not: TRUST HIM! We react on emotions - God understands that and HE can change your husband's emotions too. Men are over-sized children, nu? Stop struggling and give the situation over to God.

    Email me :-)


    Answer by snowgirl79 at 6:53 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • He has always been this way, but lately it has gotten worse. According to him, I am a Jesus freak. But I do not try to force him to believe I know that I can only pray for him. But he has always been like this, he has had issues with alcoholism, his job is very stressful as well. He has always had a sharp tongue with me. He never takes responsibility for his actions and he has always gone out a lot.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • BonesDragonDew very well said. I went through a relationship similar to this... (minus the religious aspects) the only thing you can do is think of your children, and what you want to teach them as a parent. Right now your SO is teaching your child to be selfish and uncaring, and that's not the influence you want for your children, you want them to learn to be strong, and to accomplish more out of life. It's going to be hard, it's going to be scary, but in the end, you will find self fulfillment in your life.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:56 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • God said he would provide for all your needs.. Your husband is taking advantage of you.. I was hurt by my husband for a period and asked him to leave.. I didn't know how I was gonna take care of myself but I now there are places that will help you.. I told him when he is ready to be a husband and father we will be waiting for him.. Well long story short he got orders to go to Kuwait and we were seperated.. It toook us six months but we are doing better and my husband is making a commitment to me.. He is still in Kuwait and we are working on our marrige...

    Answer by jenandrews at 7:12 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

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