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If you could choose between child support or no rights

which would it be. Say your kids had a terrible father, always in and out, the kids witnessed abuse, father only around when it suited him and then left kids in worse shape, would you give up child support? I am in this situation now. A good friend of mine cant figure out why, in 13 years I have never gone after my ex for child support for our 2 kids. I tell her that I would rather get no money from him than subject my children to his erratic behavior. She said it is 2 separate issues and just because he pays child support, that does not warrant visitation. I agree, but one thing I am not ready to gamble on is that he decides to go after visitation to get back at me. Its not worth it for me. So, if your kids father would sign over the rights and you and the kids would never have to deal with him again, would you give up the CS?(This is really only if the dad is pretty much a sperm donor, not if hes a good dad.)

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jajumommy2000

Asked by jajumommy2000 at 7:17 PM on Feb. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 5 (99 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • NO RIGHTS!!!!!
    happyathomemum

    Answer by happyathomemum at 7:23 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • you bet your ass... although in my case it isn't an issue cause he never paid a dime anyway
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 7:28 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • no rights!!!!!!!!!
    nakita72

    Answer by nakita72 at 7:34 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Honey I was in the same boat when my now 15 and 16 year old kids were 2 and 3. I went the no rights route and never looked back. The way I looked at it was that if I didn't take his money....then there would be no more of the nonsense in front of the kids. And wouldn't you know...when he didn't get what he wanted, which was a rise out of me, he went away. Took a while, but he went away and has never asked to see the kids once, much less filed a motion in court. (Surprise, surprise, he didn't want to pay child support.) Much better lifestyle for them all of the way around. No more seeing physical abuse, chemical dependence, or his utter instability of mood.
    lucindamartinez

    Answer by lucindamartinez at 7:43 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I was in a different situation, but sort of similar and I went for No Rights.
    MomOfJandM

    Answer by MomOfJandM at 7:53 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • go for visitation to get back at you? that's not the right way to look at it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Half the time you never see a dime of support anyway. My dad didn't raise me and I'm okay with it. He was a raging alcoholic, my half sisters went through a lot.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:36 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • anon-you dont know my ex. He would use it to get back at me. Cause trouble for the kids if I tried to get CS from him. He doesnt care what it does to them, he just doesnt wanna pay, KWIM. So yes, it would be to get back at me for trying to get $$ out of him for HIS kids.

    The rest of you thanks, she just doesnt get it cause I do struggle but my childrens well being is worth it if I have to drive a crappy car for awhile longer...
    jajumommy2000

    Answer by jajumommy2000 at 8:38 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • go w/ no rights!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:00 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • Child support is definitely not worth it, no matter what, imo. Support and visitation are 2 completely different things, BUT if he goes to court for visitation, they'll probably mention that he pays support for the kids, so he must be Mr. Wonderful. I'm speaking from experience. I regret the day that I decided to go for support, because look what happens. Sorry you're going through this! :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

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