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taking away the nightlight as a consequence--is it fair?

Just had to edit so I am reposting:

DSS is 10 and uses a night light to sleep. Well for years now we have been trying to get him to remember to turn it off in the mornings. But he forgets more often than not and the light will stay on all or most of the day. I just discovered it was still on a few minutes ago. I am fed up. DH is fed up. Would it be fair to tell him that for each morning he forgets to turn his night light off he looses it for the following night? BTW, since that was the popular suggestion sensor night lights do not work in his room because his room doesn't get enough natural light for one to turn off during the day. Trust me, we are not needlessly cruel or stupid, that was the first thing we tried.

 
PROGENITOR

Asked by PROGENITOR at 8:21 PM on Feb. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (32)
  • Ok I saw your new answer with what you guys decided on:

    Sounds like you took all the info in stride and came up with a good solution with deciding the consequence would be to take away the radio instead.

    I also think by sitting down and talking with your step son and having him be part of the solution was a great idea. By talking with him about why you guys are upset is a great way of opening communication with him.

    It does sound like there should be a meeting between the two families on how to handle things. 10 years old and wetting the bed, hiding undewear in his backpack etc...is there more going on with him ?
    J9Mommy

    Answer by J9Mommy at 10:01 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • is the night light being on really that big of a deal??? come on! he's afraid of the dark and only 10 years old. if the sensor night light won't work, then give up.

    here's an idea! when you wake him up in the morning, turn it off!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • buy a christmas light timer that turns the light on and off at certain times and use it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • We don't wake him up in the mornings, he gets up on his own. He is 10, it isn't our job to turn his lights on and off for him. We are trying not to baby the boy.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 8:26 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • We want him to learn to be responsible for himself.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 8:27 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • choose something else for crying out loud. this is his comfort because he's afraid of the dark.

    you don't want to baby him? OK but stop trying to force him to be an adult! he's 10!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I agree honestly with the first poster. I like to pick and choose my battles and this is one of those things that seem like a waste of energy to fight him on. Heck my night light is still on right now !!!

    Why not get one of those low energy ones with the sensor. I Know you said it won't turn off during the day due to his room lighting, but at least it uses less energy and is cool to the touch.

    I would waste the power struggles and responsibility lessons for things like keeping his room clean, doing homework, contributing to the household chores instead of over a night light issue.
    J9Mommy

    Answer by J9Mommy at 8:30 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I would take away something else that he enjoys. Tell him if he forgets again--no video games or computer or whatever for that day.

    To take away a light if he is scared could hurt more than help
    dle4125

    Answer by dle4125 at 8:36 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • IF it is really that big of a deal get a nightlight that shuts itself off when there's enough light in the room!
    the1youluv2hate

    Answer by the1youluv2hate at 8:48 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • i wouldnt, i would take something else away... if hes really scared of the dark it might make him freak out
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 8:51 PM on Feb. 7, 2009

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