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Should my husband stick up for me?

My MIL bought me some clothes and tells me she bought my husbands brothers girlfriend "smaller sizes". We look to be the same size. She is constantly telling me I look like I need an XL and she buys the other girl a M. I honestly wear an 8 in pants and a L in shirts. I am so tired of her insulting me. Once I lost a bunch of weight when my husband was working 12 hour shifts and she would yell in front of every one "Who is your diet doctor?" I feel so insulted and I tell my husband, who tells me I need to tell his mom in the moment when she is insulting me. He says he doesn't want to say anything after the fact.

 
txnmomof4

Asked by txnmomof4 at 3:24 AM on Sep. 24, 2012 in Relationships

Level 19 (8,250 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I would tell my MIL weight is not be discussed. Period. It isn't about weight it is about being healthy. Then I would tell my husband to stop being a wimp and I require a partner who goes to bat for me. If he can't do this then he's going to get the Hell out. No man in my life would ever be so disrespectful as to back down to his mother when she continues to hurt my feelings. That is not a man but a child pretending to be an adult. Then I would put on my big girl panties and tell her to zip it when it comes to my wonderful curvy body because obviously her son enjoys it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 AM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • As your husband he is obligated to stick up to you. He is no longer under his parents roof. That ended the day you were married.
    robinkane

    Answer by robinkane at 7:11 AM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • Stop letting her get to you. Maybe you DO look bigger to her. Some people look bigger than they are and others look smaller. When she asks who your diet doctor is, perhaps she thinks it's a compliment. Maybe she isn't trying to insult you. Give her the benefit of the doubt and let it all wash clean over you.

    Did the clothes she bought you fit, by the way?
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 6:30 AM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • I think you should stand for yourself first and have your husband as backup if she continues with the snarky remarks.

    But I would first talk to her privately nicely or not (I don't know what's your relationship with your MIL) to make my point of view known.
    You don't need your husband to stand for yourself. Do it first then if she continues I think your husband needs to tell her off !

    I'm sorry your MIL is been a b.. witch !
    ajc03

    Answer by ajc03 at 4:23 AM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • I would return the favor of the complisults. I would respond with 'Well bless your heart' with things that make her look like an ass. I would tell her that her new hairstyle is 'more age appropriate' than the last. I would tell her thank you for the gift of clothing, but that you prefer something a little more stylish and hand the gift back to her. You really don't have anything to lose but crappy gifts and extra contact with a bitchy MIL. Win - win.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:53 AM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • I wouldn't let her become a wedge for you and your DH. My MIL is the same way, she is obsessed with what other people weigh while telling you how thin she is, and she isn't that thin. Your DH is right saying something after the fact will just turn this into a bigger drama than you need. You know she is going to say something again so be ready for it. You don't have to be overly mean but assertive.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:37 AM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • ITA with robinkane on this one. he should have your back..and your backfat! j/k...it is his mother who constantly makes these moves/comments...he needs to tell her to stop it.
    for one, i'd refuse the 'gifts', if it were me.
    curious though...like a pp said, do the clothes fit you, even if they are XL? do they fit the other gal, who always gets smaller sizes?
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:56 AM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • So, you've never told her how you feel? If you haven't, then I agree with him. YOU need to stand up to her and tell her it bothers you. If she continues after that, THEN he should tell her to stop. But he should not have to fight your battles for you when you haven't even attempted to do so yourself.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:11 AM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • You need to stand up to her yourself. It's the only thing that will stop the snarkiness. If he talks to her about any of this, it will only increase her desire to pick at you because she will see it as your being weak. The next time she says anything, be prepared to answer her politely but firmly. If you do that a few times, she will likely drop it. The comments don't really have anything to do with your weight--they have to do with her having chosen something that she knows is a sensitive issue with you and using it to get at you. You are the only one who can stop it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:23 AM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • Pick on her. Tell her she has horrible taste in clothes. Ask for the receipts. Ask you if she took her bithc pill that morning or if she forgot to take her nice pill? Get in her face! Bully the bully. Excuse ME! works really well in almost any situation. Give her the death stare. Grab the kids and LEAVE. Punish her rude ass! You have power. Use it.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 8:38 AM on Sep. 24, 2012