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A (insert noun here) (insert verb here) into a bar adult content

It was time for the Irish pub’s “Toast of the night” contest. John O’Reilly won the top prize when he hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life,between the legs of me wife!”

Later, John went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John thought for a second and then told her, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. The next day she ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize last night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep and the next time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”

What's your favorite "bar" joke?

Answer Question

Asked by NotPanicking at 9:32 PM on Sep. 26, 2012 in Just for Fun

Level 51 (421,174 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • LOL

    Answer by AF4life at 9:34 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

  • LOL!

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:34 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

  • haha...
    sorry- I have no joke to share!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:39 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

  • I don't go to bars, so I don't have a favorite bar joke. Sorry.

    Answer by robinkane at 9:47 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

  • Love it.

    Answer by theMOMmission at 10:09 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

  • LMAO

    Answer by DJDNY at 10:14 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

  • woman walks into a bar- lovely blond
    2 guys start arguing- real or fake blond
    finally one goes over and she flashes him
    he gets angry cause she claimed to be real but it was ebony!

    she said "put your thumb on the bar", (he did) she took off her stiletto and BAM- WHACKS HIM!!!
    he is appalled and holding his rapidly color changing thumb

    She asked," what's happening"?
    he says, "it's turning black"!
    She smiled sweetly and said

    "And that's only been banged once".

    Answer by feralxat at 10:44 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

  • LOL....

    Answer by m-avi at 11:21 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

  • A man walks into a bar and is immediately disqualified from the World Limbo Championships.

    Answer by DusterMommy at 11:35 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

  • A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

    Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

    "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000."

    "Gee, that's tough," he replied.

    "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000."

    "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

    "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."

    "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."

    "Then this month," continued the friend, "absolutely nothing!"

    Answer by DusterMommy at 11:37 PM on Sep. 26, 2012

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