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4 Bumps

Do you think children now are given more leeway and excuses and take less responsibility for their actions than in previous generations?

With so many kids being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and autism and the mentality of everyone deserves a trophy, do you think kids are being taught to use their issues as a crutch? Are kids now being coddled too much?


Asked by kmath at 2:46 PM on Sep. 28, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 48 (296,841 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I don't know if it has anything to do with being diagnosed with something, but I do think it's a problem. I think parents are afraid to take control of their families. They don't want little Johnny's feelings to get hurt so they don't want to make him feel bad about doing something wrong. The truth is, we all deal with disappointments and failures in life. We have to learn to pick ourselves up and go on and start over or carry on. Trying to prevent hurt feelings now can result in young adults not knowing how to deal with failures or disappointments down the road. I'm hard on my kids because I love them enough to know life is hard and they need to know how to navigate it.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:50 PM on Sep. 28, 2012

  • To all of your questions, in a word: Yes. BUT not all parents are teaching their kids to blame the disease. My son was just diagnosed with Asperger's, ADHD, and a mood disorder, not otherwise specified. For us, that just give us a platform to jump from to educate ourselves and give him all the tools we possibly can so he can function as normally as possible. Hubby and I flat refuse to allow our son to use this diagnosis as anything other than informational.

    I have known, and do know parents that DO use the diagnosis as a crutch and an excuse for MANY behaviors.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:56 PM on Sep. 28, 2012

  • It has changed tremendously. That is why more and more kids are getting in trouble with the law.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Sep. 28, 2012

  • two separate issues

    yes, kids (and adults) are less reponsible for their actions

    on the side note, (after openning your question)
    i have a child in the spectrum, and she is not getting away with anything because of it
    she does not know she has autism yet
    i do not use as an excuse
    i do talk about her autism openly- NOT for an excuse, BUT because people are so ignorant
    given more leeway and excuses and take less responsibility for their actions than in previous generations?= nothing to do with spectrum

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:26 PM on Sep. 29, 2012

  • Not all parents, but yes, many of them. Both of my boys have ADHD. It is not an excuse for them with anything. They know it means they struggle to focus, to sit still, that they have extra energy. But they also know that it just means they need to work that much harder, they need to learn ways to focus and sit still. As I've always told them, it's no different than diabetes. Diabetes wouldn't get them out of stuff - they'd just have to learn how to adjust and work around it, and that's what they have to do with their ADHD. Instead of watching their diet and taking insulin, they just have to learn skills to lessen distractions and burn off energy.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:15 PM on Sep. 28, 2012

  • Yes
    Teachers are not going to like me saying it but they are a big part of the problem also. If a child is not fitting into their set mold they start recommending drugs. Drug the kid and the little zombies lose creativity but they are so much easier to control.
    Some kids do need the help but not at this rate. I wonder how previous generations got through it?

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:29 AM on Sep. 29, 2012

  • No, I think they are treated less the treasures that they are now. Treat your children with love and respect, and most of the time that is what they are going to treat other people with.
    Many parents don't have the time nor the inclination to parent. Every issue is a confrontation or reason to punish. It's easier to punish than to talk.

    Answer by adnilm at 3:54 PM on Sep. 29, 2012

  • my child is better behaved often Than children that have no brain disorder
    and when she is not behaving well- it is often MY FAULT for allowing a NORMAL sensory situation so on too long, and she has a sensory overload- but sometimes i want to do things other families do (and those families NEVER have to think twice about a senosry overload

    i blame parents that have "normal functioning child" there is that

    have a nice day

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:29 PM on Sep. 29, 2012

  • also
    my child is NOT on any meds at this time

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:34 PM on Sep. 29, 2012