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4 Bumps

Does the thought of your teen having sex scare you? adult content

Even though none of us want our teens to have sex, the fact is many of them do. My gf at work is in tears because she just found out that her 16 year old daughter had sex with her bf of 2 years. With my teenager I was more concerned about if she was emotionally ready and "in love" with her bf. I didn't expect her to remain a virgin until marriage and I just wanted her to do it for the right reasons and when they were both ready. What does everyone here think?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:44 AM on Oct. 1, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • i would like for everything to be just perfect, with the right woman (not GIRL), and for him to respect himself enough to 'cover all his bases'.
    in order to do what i can, i am teaching him to respect himself, and that there are always other fish in the sea..and not to hook up with bottom-feeders.

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:45 AM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • I'm with you for the most part- although 16 is still pretty young
    when my 17 yr old decided she was going to...go there- whe asked me to get her on birth control. I wasn't happy they were doing it- but the most important thing was that she came to me about it and was trying to be smart about it.

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:47 AM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • Scare me? No. Would it disappoint me? Yes. I don't think teens having sex is a forgone conclusion and I have no problem setting high expectations of my kids in ALL areas.

    Answer by missanc at 9:48 AM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • No. And I don't want to know. I instill my children with moral, religious and practical values. I talk openly with my 14 year old about sex and it's beauty and huge consequences. I give all the information and leave it to him to make his decisions. I have to, at some point, trust him

    Answer by adnilm at 9:50 AM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • ugh- whe= she
    *SHE asked me...

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:55 AM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • With my oldest I was one of those moms with their head in the sand and now I have a 7 year old g'daughter. I learned alot from that experience and with my other teens we have had ongoing talks about safety, responsibility, maturity and intimacy. Disappointment when they have sex is probably the right word but once that horse is out of the barn I have accepted it and continued the conversations. All we can do is guide our children and hope the make the right decisions for the right reasons, and give them love and support.

    Answer by OhGloria at 9:56 AM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • My 18 yo dd got pregnant at 16 and gave birth 8 days before she turned 17. The fear is not there anymore. My youngest dd is 15 and she is now scared straight. She was there when my gs had colic and her sis. had to walk the halls up and down trying to get him to sleep. She's seen it all and I know that she has too many dreams to do anything like this. Being afraid only keeps your mouth shut. I made one crucial mistake when it came to my oldest dd. I never got it through to her that her body was special and when it was time, she would give that gift to a wonderful, caring man. I only talked technical stuff. I blew it.

    Answer by blondie805 at 10:52 AM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • I agree with adnilm What scares me is her getting hurt, STDs, someone taking video and posting on the internet. The world has just gotten scarier. And bad mistakes can follow someone forever.

    Answer by booklover545 at 12:20 PM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • OP, with your friend's example of her daughter, I think the daughter should be applauded for waiting two years into her relationship and waiting until she's ready. That is nothing to be scared or disappointed of.

    While I don't think anybody WANTS their teens having sex, I don't think that teen sex is the end of the world. The important thing is that they are using birth control, that they know what their options are in case of pregnancy, and that they are making informed decisions.

    Answer by Mousuke at 12:22 PM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • It's not the end of the world, but that doesn't mean I wasn't disappointed when I found out for sure that my dd was having sex at 17, with her bf of 6 months. She said she was sure he was the right one..and he isn't a jerk, but a nice kid with a bright future. I don't let it happen here, and our house rules are very clear. His mom is much more liberal about the sex thing (but isn't a very warm person, kind of a turn the other way person).

    I have made it clear our dd that we will not be taking care of babies if an accident comes about, even though they are supposedly careful. I asked her point blank what she and he plan to do in case she gets pregnant. "We said we'll talk about it if it happens" is not a valid response. She cannot even handle a hangnail. I guess I am afraid of how stupid teens can be, even though they may be "book smart".

    Answer by dflygirl7 at 5:36 PM on Oct. 1, 2012

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