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What would you do in this situation?

My dh's ex has been having trouble meeting the right person since she left their marriage...well my sk's are grown already and still live with her hey that's ok but our concern is she is with an abusive guy (10 yrs. younger) dh worries that maybe we will hear some bad news like he hurt his kids (my sk's ).

The mother does not SEE this she continues to let him live with them she does not know the kids tell us stuff she tries to make it look like she is happy....I kind of feel sorry for her but I would hate to hear that this guy did something very bad to her or worse.

I told my dh why don't he intervene even though it is not his business who she has in her life but he will be doing it for the safety of his kids...this guy needs to leave the house before something terrible happens.
Was this dumb of me to suggest...I don't want her thinking he still loves (I know jealousy in my part)

He just wants safety for his kids...

Thanks for listening ;)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Oct. 1, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I would if I was him. He's kids are seeing this and what happens when he turns on his kids? I would scare the shit out of the fucker and let him know if he ever comes back around he will be 6ft under.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 11:26 PM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • If the kids are grown up why don;t they move out?
    Could it be that they simly do notwant this man in her life?

    I do not know just looking at it from another view.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:33 PM on Oct. 1, 2012

  • Everything was fine until she met him and he moved in...the kids don't like him bc of the way he is treating their mom.

    They do not want to leave her with that guy in the why not he get out.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:04 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • I'd be handing the kids money for first month's rent to get them out.

    It could be that they are staying to protect their mom, though. Do they know to call 911?

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:05 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • Not to mention my dh can not do too much bc he is not suppose to know her life story...she would be pissed if she knew the kids were telling their dad stuff.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:05 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • @ gdiamante yes I call them kids bc I've known them when they were 2 & 4 now they are 18 & 20.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:07 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • Absolutely, he has a right to intervene to ensure the safety of his kids. In fact, in some states, it would be considered neglect if he did NOT intervene, knowing how unstable their environment is. If you can, offer them a place to stay to get away from that man. Those in domestic violence situations are not able to see or think well when they are around someone manipulative, controlling and abusive. In fact, see if you can have a formal intervention. Gather her friends and family "for a private reunion," without that guy of course, and have everyone say that they are concerned for her and the kids' safety and want to help. Strength in numbers could wake her up to realize it's serious. Everyone there needs to be able to help her out in some way. She needs to hear the support to have the strength to leave. If she's too stubborn, then let her know that you will try to get custody until she leaves that guy.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 12:16 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • I would most definitely have hubs step in. Those are his children, he does not want anything to happen to them.If the kids are worried about their Mom tell her to get a restraining order on him.Your hubby should do same also, ro .He should pull the adult kids out of their Mom's house. Maybe some of these actions may help her understand this guy is so much a loser, loser, looo ser!( could not resist, from Daddy Daycare movie!}

    Answer by momw2teens522 at 12:40 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • I agree, the kids are old enough to do something about it themselves, like move out.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:07 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • You said the SK's are grown? They can handle this issue themselves with their mom.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:02 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

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