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Am I over reacting?

We've just moved into a neighborhood. We'd lived in the country before and the few neighbors we had were family. So I don't know if I'm just over reacting because I'm not use to stuff like this or what. But our neighbors have kids that our kids play with. The problem I have is that these kids have at times come into our yard when our kids weren't outside and used their stuff without asking. Today we came home and they were over playing basketball. This hasn't happened a lot but the few times it has (or at least that I know it has) there was somebody at home so all they had to do was knock on the door and ask. Shouldn't you ask before you use other people's stuff?

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Proudmama67

Asked by Proudmama67 at 4:40 PM on Feb. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • Every neighborhood I've ever lived in, the kids on the street considered basketball hoops (and driveways, for that matter) to be public property.

    The other stuff is easy - have your kids tuck their stuff into the garage and not leave it out. That way the kids won't play with it.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 4:42 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • Hoops and balls are considered to belong to all. Same goes for swing sets and slides. It would be courteous, however, for the children or their parents to at least ask once before assuming.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:47 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • Our yards here are all fenced in so, no, kids are not allowed into each other's yards to play. I would be very upset if neighbor kids were in our yard messing with our stuff.

    I get mad when they come on our porch and take the kids' toys that they leave there. I also don't allow my kids to play with the neighbor's toys they leave out, even if they are good friends. It's just rude.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:49 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • LOL.. I have the same problem. I lived in the country - very few neighbors. We were very respectful of others - we only went to their house if they were home and it was OK with the parents that we were there.. and visa versa. I moved into town with my kids.. and I'm amazed - kids just come over and play - regardless if we are out playing too or if we are home or whatever. Since it was the same kids - i finally had a talk with them - they are only allowed to be in our yard if we are - and they have to come knock on the door and ask if it was okay. Amazing the difference of living secluded in the country to moving into town..

    4xmommy2008

    Answer by 4xmommy2008 at 6:08 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • They're kids and I don't feel that it's that big of a deal.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • talk to the kids and ask them to ask. why? say you have a swingset in your yard, and you aren't home. your neighbor's kids are on it and one falls and breaks thier arm or whatever, guess whose getting sued. you. set your limits. now before it bites you in the ass. and btw, so i don't get bashed, i grew up in a town called bayou because it was one, and there still isnt' a red light in teh whole town. you don't get more country than that.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 11:20 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • while I was waiting for answers to my question, I looked up info on neighbor etiquette. It said to never assume that someone else's property is okay for you to use without asking. I have to say I agree with that. If you have an understanding with your neighbors that their kids can hang out in your yard while you aren't even home, that's okay. But if you don't and the kids just assume that what is yours is theirs without even asking, I just think that's lack of manners and respect. And I don't think it's some "unwritten" neighborhood rule that I'm unaware of because this neighborhood is full of kids and the kids from this one house (who range in age from 10 to 20) are the only ones who do this. The poster who mentioned liability made a good point also because I've known of that happening. Some things may be ok with your neighbor, but be respectful first and find out.
    Proudmama67

    Answer by Proudmama67 at 10:14 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

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