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my baby's dad

ok im 38 weeks pregnant (17 years old)

and the babys dad and i fought the first 6 months of my pregnancy about the baby being his and how i was gonna make him pay child support and stuff

well the other day i decided if he did not want to be apart of her life i was not gonna make him

so i left him a message on myspace (he changed his number and moved out of state)telling him that it is his kid but if he does not want to be apart of her life then i was not gonna make him

then i told him that i would send him pick and call when she is born if he wanted

well my mom found out i did this and told me i messed up big time by giving him a choice and not making him pay child support or anything

i was just wondering if anyone else thinks i messed up by doing that?????

Answer Question
 
19bubbles91

Asked by 19bubbles91 at 4:54 PM on Feb. 8, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 5 (68 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Girl, if his mama is not teaching him how to be a man, then you need to! Dont let him go on through life, running from choices he has made. You are 17 years old, you need help, i dont care if your parents are rich, well off or any of that, its not about that, its about the fact that you didnt make this baby by yourself.
    camtri3

    Answer by camtri3 at 4:57 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • Your baby is a person with needs and feeling of her own. When she's born, all she will need is for you to take care of her, but as she gets older she will want to know her father. It's really not your choice to let him off the hook.
    Your under alot of stress right now, try not to make any decisions until you can look at the whole thing in perspective. Good luck.
    Lornamay

    Answer by Lornamay at 5:04 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • Yes he doesn't have a choice in the matter. And just because you said he had one, doesn't mean you can't take him to court for child support which I hope you plan to do. That shouldn't be optional either. If you don't know that yet, you soon will as you start to want more things for your baby.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 5:05 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • hey i just went thought that too. my mom and dad are helping me but my babies father is in the army and he is dateing a navy women who by the way is married and her husband is over seas. well neways u should not give him a choice. it takes two to tango. but it is all up to u no matter what you decide i know ur baby will b happy no matter what.
    ~Heidi~
    heidicummins03

    Answer by heidicummins03 at 5:17 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • take him to court as soon as the baby is born. It takes a while to get a court date so the sooner you start it the sooner you will get help to pay for diapers, food, milk, bedding, toys and anything else he needs to be helping with. If you have no idea how to go about this, you can go to family court which should be at your county courthouse. You can also so to HRS and try to file for welfare which I think its called AFDCA they will ask you about the father. You give them all the info you can on him. If you can get his SS# that will help a lot. Other wise they will be looking for every (whatever his name is) and sometimes they get the wrong guy in court.

    How do you know he moved to another state? he may have just moved to a different town. DOn't believe everything you read on a myspace account. People can just change their location to make others think they moved. I wish you the best
    4thLuvofChildrn

    Answer by 4thLuvofChildrn at 5:54 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • oh and about him being a part of her life, its best to leave that up to him as far as having a relationship with her goes. Don't talk bad abouthim to her and just let him figure out whathe wants to do, as faras seeingher and all. But the more you try to make him the more you will upset yourself and your baby. I have so been there and done that
    again I wish you the best

    Do take him to court though
    4thLuvofChildrn

    Answer by 4thLuvofChildrn at 6:04 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • im going through the same thing. i made the guy pay. it gets hard to take care of a child by urself. take him to court.dont give him that choice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • O.k.I had my first child at 14 years old and her father was 18 at the time.When I was 14 I took him for child support b/c he did not beleive she was his ,plus my mom thought he should pay for his daughter so it came back that she was his,and ever since I did that he has been a total ass saying that I only want his money,and he had alot of issues with on and off comeing to see her.He finally just started seeing her when she was 6 years old and he has been seeing her every weekend since then,but I still say the biggest mistake I ever made was takeing him for a DNA test,to this day we do not get along and he is alway's talking bad about me to my daughter,but to get back to your ?,I think you should do whatever you wanted to do,sometimes mom's are not always right.Hope all goes well with you.
    banana216

    Answer by banana216 at 10:55 PM on Feb. 8, 2009

  • Take him to court for child support!
    Geea

    Answer by Geea at 9:23 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

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