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Would you say something to someone you knew who was pregnant and still smoked or just keep your opinion to yourself?

I have known several people who smoked while pregnant and have heard of people drinking while pregnant as well. If you had a friend or in my case a relative who smoked or drank while pregnant would you say something to them or feel like you should just keep your opinions inside? Normally I am not the type of person who is going to tell people my opinion when I am not asked but since it is a relative and I know them so well, and do not want anything bad to happen to them or their baby i'm sort of torn on what to do.


Asked by rockabell.2009 at 9:51 AM on Oct. 2, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 14 (1,397 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • Well, years ago, before the ban on smoking, my friend and I were pregnant at the same time. We went to Sizzler for lunch. I always drank coke, but gave it up while I was pregnant, and got water. She tried to convince me that I should have what I wanted....there was no guarantee it would make a difference, it was just a soda...on and on. I just ignored her and stuck with water.

    We sat down at our table and ate, and she lit up a cigarette. I finally got mad. I told her "Put that out, you can do what you want to your baby, you're not going to do it to mine." She did put the cigarette out.

    A few months later I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Did it matter that I didn't drink soda?....who knows. Three weeks later she gave birth to a boy with a severe cleft lip and palate. Did the smoking matter? Very likely, smoking is a high risk factor for cleft lip & palate.

    I don't think saying anything did any good & I just felt guilty.

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:25 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • she's aware of the damage, I'd keep my mouth shout

    Answer by adnilm at 9:53 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • I'd mind my own business - she doesn't need told.

    Answer by winterglow at 9:59 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • Some doctors recommend not quitting smoking, just reducing the amount. Nicotine withdrawal can have a negative impact on pregnancy. You may ask her how she's doing with cutting back.

    I've also heard a number of women say they can drink a little wine on occasion. It's not something I did while pregnant, but if your relative is drinking more, I'd probably say something since it sounds like she may have a drinking problem.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 9:59 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • ^Agreed. I can't imagine that sharing your opinion with her will be an education. Assuming she can read, I'm sure she knows that certain behaviors are not recommended for pregnant/nursing women.

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 10:01 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • I have heard that about wine once in a while, the person who drinks a lot i just heard about through a friend, don't really know the person to assess the situation really lol.

    the family member of mine hasn't seemed to of cut down at all still at around 2-2 1/2 packs a day. I guess i'll probably keep my opinion to myself about it.

    Comment by rockabell.2009 (original poster) at 10:08 AM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • what constitutes "alot" re: drinking?

    Answer by feralxat at 10:20 AM on Oct. 2, 2012