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4 Bumps

Ok, so me and my husband had a fight tonight....

Most of the stuff going on between us is my fault. For the last few months I have not been on the meds I need for the bipolar disorder. I am not a extreme case like what most folks think when they hear it. Anyway, I try to manage my moods, and it hasn't been successful. So I kinda shut down and suppress it, and keep it inside, and the other way I try to cope is picking at my skin. Sometimes it relieves the tension and frustration. I am picking my skin on my stomach to hide it, and the top of my breasts. But there is a major drawback, and that is when my hubby wants to sex, I afraid he will be disgusted when he feels the scars and such. So now he thinks I do not want him any more, and I no longer find him attractive. That couldn't be further from the truth. I want to tell him, but it scares me he will get a split second look on his face if and when I tell him, and I couldn't handle that. What should I do??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 AM on Oct. 5, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • You need to get back on your meds and keep taking them properly. They're prescribed to help you and are not optional. You also tell your husband exactly what you told us about trying to manage your moods and not making it and how you cope. He needs to know and understand why you're behaving like you are. You also need to make sure he knows that you love him. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to do all of this so start now. :)

    Answer by winterglow at 3:14 AM on Oct. 5, 2012

  • I agree with winterglow. You need to get back on your meds and take them correctly. And tell your husband everything you just wrote (or make him read it if it's to hard to tell him). That would help him understand why you are behaving like this and your feelings for him aren't the problem at all.
    Good luck !

    Answer by ajc03 at 3:34 AM on Oct. 5, 2012

  • Go back on your meds and talk to your DH. Why keep these things from him?

    Answer by louise2 at 7:16 AM on Oct. 5, 2012

  • Go back on your meds. One of your diseases' most outright symptoms is not wanting to take the medication. You need to go back on your meds.

    Answer by adnilm at 8:20 AM on Oct. 5, 2012

  • Winterglow gives the best advice you can get,, explain to your husband you love him, but are ashamed of what you have been doing, and bi-polar gets worse without treatment, so please go back to the doctor.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:02 AM on Oct. 5, 2012

  • Get back on your meds, as previously stated. I know several people, including my husband, who stopped taking meds when they felt normal, and then things quickly went downhill (note: my husband was diagnosed bipolar, but it seems it is either very borderline or "just" anxiety... he is no longer on meds at all). One of the things he does is overthink everything and try to get ahead of the script so he can be prepared - he is always wondering why people do what they do and trying to flesh out what everyone is thinking. Consequently, he often makes incorrect assumptions about not only what I'm thinking, but also the importance of the particular issue to me. It isn't about your husband right now, it's about you. Talk to your husband about how you're feeling - all of it. He is there to be on your side - let him know you are having some trouble.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:15 AM on Oct. 5, 2012

  • Back on the meds and tell him the truth.

    You're NOT managing your moods right now, though you think you are.

    Have him read this thread.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:52 AM on Oct. 5, 2012

  • "You need to get back on your meds and keep taking them properly. They're prescribed to help you and are not optional. ..."
    Sorry I should have elaborated more on that. I want to take my meds, but my psychiatrist put me on the generic kind, and despite telling him numerous times they do not work, he will not write me a prescription for the name brand. I was on the name brand originally when I started, but then CMH (community mental health) got the generic and they are only $9 for a 30 day supply. I took them for 6 months and I do not feel the same as I did when I was taking the name brand, and I am experiencing more side effects then I did with the name brand also. I hate feeling like this!!!! I am in the middle of trying to find someone else, but its hard when you have no health coverage that covers mental health. My medical doctor will not do it either cause she "isn't trained for mental health." Her words.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:36 PM on Oct. 5, 2012

  • "Go back on your meds and talk to your DH. Why keep these things from him?"Answer by louise2
    I want too believe me. But awhile back, like a few years ago, we were watching a show that involved a girl who was self harming herself cause of a undiagnosed panic disorder. He said he thinks thats stupid and why would people do such a thing it was disgusting. I keep replaying those words in my head and thats why am afraid of telling him. I really really want to get back on meds, cause like I stated earlier, I HATE feeling like this. I get into the mixed state which is mania and depression all at once, and I feel like a hamster in a ball. I am glad Obama did something with the health care, but some folks still fall through the cracks like the Grand Canyon. The only coverage I have is medicaid,

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:44 PM on Oct. 5, 2012

  • I cover my scars with my clothes. I make it look like I'm so turned on I can't wait to have sex so leave my clothes on just move them. The ones on the tops of the breast, just lift a shirt so he can have access. For others, wear a sexy outfit that cover them. Where there is a will, there is a way. I hate my scars showing but I don't like giving up sex over it. I work around the scars. Body paint is sexy too and covers stuff. Also, try Mederma to cover up scars if they really bother you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:24 PM on Oct. 5, 2012

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