At what point in pregnancy should you have everything you need for baby?

well you dont throw one make you dh throw it for you. who cares really who does it as long as you have one.

with my next child I dont want a baby shower, I want a 'welcome home' party. I think its cute

You don't have the crib from your oldest DD? If she's still in it, move her to a toddler bed.
Or you could just get a bassinet for now, have your newborn sleep in the room with you & you won't need a monitor.

Is it a financial issue? If so then Craigslist or even freecycle might help. If it's a time issue, I didn't have everything completely ready until 35 weeks or so with my first,
With my 4th I didn't have a dresser for him until a month after he was born! (I had his clothes in baskets on the shelves of his closet). Even then it was a gift from my inlaws or it would have been longer. You do what you have to do.

Staci don't freak out. Lots of babies come into this world with an outfit or two and a blanlet and diapers. My father slept in an emptied drawer for the first month of his life. You never have everything you think you need and many times you don't get to even use it all. DS was born and never fit into the newborn outfit we had gotten for him. DH had to run out and get him something to wear home. lol The hospital has little beanies for all the babies unless they have changed.
You do need a carseat. Everything will be fine.

Yep, and most people will bring gifts when they come to see the baby. My babies really didn't even use their cribs until they were a couple of months old. You have time, relax...the carseat is the most important issue. Call the hospital, and your local fire department, they maybe be able to help you or direct you to where you can get a free carseat. Some insurance companies give them when you take a class.

You can use a pack & play - my babies all slept in one for the first few months. I never had a baby monitor - unless you're a very heavy sleeper and the baby's across the house, you really don't need one. Hats are really cheap, especially if you buy 2nd hand. Bouncer you won't need right away, but again you can get nice ones 2nd hand, or they're pretty cheap if you don't get fancy. Don't need a ton of clothes either. You'll be fine! My niece was born at 34 weeks and they had nothing ready - no crib, carseat still in storage, clothes still in storage that had to be washed, etc - they did just fine!

Staci, do you have a car seat? Do you have diapers? Do you have a dozen onesies and/or infant gowns? You'll get a hat at the hospital, so don't even worry about that. You need a sling, unless you plan to trade the older child in for this new model (since no one thought ahead enough to grant mothers extra hands).

We had a roomful of stuff that went UNUSED for months! Out of all the baby gear, what got used was the car seat, the stroller, and the bassinet... and the stroller and bassinet only for putting him down in a safe place. Stroller in the living room, bassinet in the bathroom. Yes, the bathroom! He went in there while I showered.

We had a video monitor... didn't use it for eight months. Didn't use the bouncer till two months, it was outgrown by five months.

And yes, it's tacky to throw your own shower. My family believes showers are bad luck... they buy gifts for babies who are here.