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A vent about birthdays

My BIL started (last year) being absolutely determined to celebrate his daughter's birthday no matter what. OK, fine. Last year he decided (without asking us our opinion) that when we had the family birthday for my twins that it would also be his daughter's birthday party. Where's the problem? My daughters were 9 and his daughter 22. My daughters' birthday is on 17th October, his daughter's in early August. This year he tried it again. We said "no" again. He'll be pushing it back until the next niece's birthday in early December (and it will be her 18th so a special birthday). I don't get it. What was she doing on her birthday that made her not have the party she wanted? Why can't she accept that, at 23, she doesn't HAVE to have a birthday? Is it all about gifts? Is this all caused by her father?

I really can't relate. I left home at 18. I cannot imagine wanting to share a party with a pair of tweens rather than not have one at all. She's an intelligent person working for a diploma in forensic science.

Am I out of like thinking this is strange or is it usual to celebrate your child's birthday even 3 months late?


Asked by winterglow at 11:45 AM on Oct. 6, 2012 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 27 (32,185 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • You know, if we can't have a party within a week on either side of the actual birthday....I find another way to celebrate. It's hardly the same weeks or months later.

    I think he's ridiculous, and rude. Your twins already share a birthday with each other...why should they have to share their party with someone else....whose birthday isn't even the same day?

    It's much easier for guests to buy one gift at a time, than to have to buy several, and you can NEVER guarantee that everyone you want can be there!! My middle son's birthday is in August, my other two are September and October. My middle son always seemed to have the best attendance at his parties. People didn't have as many weekend activities like kids soccer games or football games, homework projects that had to be finished, lessons, etc.

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:12 PM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • What kind of 22 or 23 year old would want her birthday combined with a kid's party? Seriously? He's just being cheap. His daughter deserves to be celebrated on her actual birthday, not thrown on top of someone else's.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:50 AM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • That IS weird

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:48 AM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • Is it her? Or is it her dad with the problem. Why doesn't he just throw his own party for her if he thinks she needs a family party?

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:50 AM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • I do not understand him either.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:51 AM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • At that age, they can make a vacation a party for her.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:00 PM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • was he unable to celebrate previous birthdays?

    Answer by feralxat at 12:25 PM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • I wonder if he isn't just going through a midlife crisis...
    yeah- there's something going on with him :(
    So sorry- i tried to come at it from another angle. stay strong with your No. GL

    Answer by feralxat at 12:40 PM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • He says that it's her that wants the party, I think it's him. I can't imagine her making this fuss and I think she'd probably curl up and die if she knew he's going to these lengths ...

    Comment by winterglow (original poster) at 11:54 AM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • He intended having a party for her this weekend but we can't go (apparently all must attend) and that's why he wants to push it back to the next birthday.

    Honestly, I don't get why he doesn't do it in August. Maybe because they're all too busy with vacations?

    Comment by winterglow (original poster) at 11:57 AM on Oct. 6, 2012