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2 Bumps

Heavy heart

I have felt this way for a while now,and I imagine what it would be like to have someone who truly loves me,someone who would hold me and help me feel loved. Why do I feel so sad when I make love to my husband,why do I cry? I see the way other men caress their wife and hold them tight,and say how beautiful they are,I don't get that with my husband,it truly hurts me. I'm the stupid wife who doesn't know how to raise the kids everything is my fault I'm the reason why my kids are failing school and getting suspended. The man I married is very bitter and mean and makes me feel worthless. My children hate their own father and I can't blame them he's never been a father that they need. His days are spent at work or home in front of the tv and computer,he doesn't know his own children and I doubt he ever will. I'm naive enough to believe that things could change,that we could make things better. I should've known to run the other way the day we got married 15 years ago when all I felt was sadness and despair,that in itself was my heart warning me and now look what I've done. I don't think I will ever know to love or be loved by any man. Going tomorrow to apply for housing,not sure how I will ever get by on 9.25 an hour and I'm in debt over my head with medical bills. I'm truly scared and can't decide on if I want to cry or scream out.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Oct. 8, 2012 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Or do both. You do realize that if you get divorced he will have to pay at least a part of those medical bills?
    I do not know why you married a man that made you feel sad from the beginning and it is not mine to know. But you do not have to continue to live this way and neither do your children. If you can I would see a counselor to see if they can help you to find what you want to do and how you might procede.
    Will you husband contest a divorce or custody and CS?
    If not maybe you can see a mediator to get all the arrangements ironed out.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:12 AM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • You deserve to be cherished. You deserve to feel happy and connected to the person who shares your bed. If you don't feel that way, it's time to make a change. You know what to do, and you'll find the strength inside of you to do it.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:01 AM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • I think I can understand then. You got pregnant and that was the push. It happens but it doesn't have to be a life sentence.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:23 AM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • It is better to be single than to be in a loveless relationship. You will find peace and harmony again when you have a home with no discord, no conflict. You will find balance again, and you may struggle but you will strive without fear. True love will come only when you learn to be content on your own, you will never find it until you no longer seek it. Believe in YOURSELF again!

    Regarding your medical bills, you state you make 9.25 per hour, and if you are seeking housing then you dont have real estate with large equity. At a glance, it seems that a Chapter 7 bankruptcy filing would be in order. Ask your county legal aid for information in this regard. For a brief overview, check out This info is for Ohio, and the laws vary slightly state to state, but this will give you an idea of what bankruptcy really is and what questions you should be asking. (many years as supervising bankrupcty paralegal)

    Answer by AngelicaDem at 1:31 AM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • you deserve to be loved. and the next best thing would be to be single. i wish you all the luck in the world mama. it won't be easy, but you can do it. and there is nothing that says you will never meet someone who will love you.

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 5:56 AM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • I might also add that I'm not attracted to him anymore,and he is 19 yrs older than me.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:05 AM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • Oh you know how it is when you see movies of the bride having second thoughts and running out,just chalked it all up to cold feet.
    We didn't have a big wedding nothing fancy it was over in so fast. I got pregnant with my daughter and told my husband if we didn't get married I was going to leave. Anyways it's a long boring story.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:18 AM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • Debt will be there either way. Happiness is only one way for you. Go for happiness!

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:31 AM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • It will be difficult financially for sure. However, it is much better to have peace of mind. Children learn by example and you don't want your daughter to think that it is okay for a man to treat a woman this way. Everyone deserves to feel loved and to be loved. I wish you all the best in the future. Hugs.

    Answer by T.J.Mom08 at 9:23 AM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • Keep reminding yourself that you are deserving of the same kind of love you can give. He doesn't deserve you or the kids. You don't make love to him, you oblige him. It sounds like you have emotionally already left the relationship. Time to let your body catch up with your emotions. Learn to love yourself again and remember that you are worthy of receiving the kind of love you give to others. Do not accept anyone that isn't willing to give you what you give them.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:57 AM on Oct. 8, 2012