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Bullying and being bullied. Your opinion?

This is an extremely controverial subject. Let me first say, that if you know or knew any victims to bullies or lost loved ones to bullies, I am very sorry for your loss and truly wish things could be different for all those involved. Being bullied is horrendous! I personally was never bullied,(still picked on a times) but my husband was and feels very strongly about it. He was kicked out of school for fighting back and placed in a charter school by his parents. What would you do if your kid(s) were bullied? Would you take them out of school right away? Or teach them to fight back? (regardless of the school's rules). Do you think you can do anything to prevent your child from being bullied in the first place?
The bullies side. (This is not meant to offend anyone, by any means). I know there is alot being done now to prevent and stop bullying (about time!) I also don't think there are any excuses, at all, for bullying. and all bullies should be punished for their actions. But what would you do if your child was the bully? What could you do to prevent this? In certain cases can bully's be seen as victims as well? These are just a serious of questions I ponder a times.
My opinon: I would never, ever, ever want my daughter to be bullied or be a bully. But I strongly believe in standing up for yourself (something I could never do) so I want to make sure my daughter can by all means. So I'm on the edge between taking her out of school or letting her fight back if the time ever comes (hopefully not). I don't know what I would do to prevent it from happening, just hope she will have the self-confidence she needs, I also would punish her accordingly if she ever bullied anyone, and teach her to be kind and generous to others regardless of their flaws to prevent her from being the bully.

 
bemebebri

Asked by bemebebri at 7:49 PM on Oct. 8, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 7 (187 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I follow protocol but also teach to fight back. I say tell on the kid, if nothing is better, tell me, I email the teacher, if nothing is better we contact the principal. If it happens again beat the crap out of the kid. My son is in first, Said he was bullied in k, had to tell both teacher and principal. Then it stopped. Glad!!! Showed my son the system can work for you. I have been a teacher for 8yrs in an inner city charter school. I know teachers care but some bullies are very smart about their attacks. Some just sit waiting all day for her to look away or whatever opportunity to not have witnesses. If my son had to fight back and did and was punished from the school I. Would buy him ice cream for standing up for himself when the system failed him. As I hope he does in adult life. Most of the time, the teachers are glad when the bully gets what they deserve, especially when they can't prove it.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 4:49 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • If the school is failing to stop the bullying, then I would take her & her tax $$ out of that school & place her somewhere else. If she was being the bully, I would put a stop to it immediately. That being said, there is a girl in her class, who if someone disagrees w/ her, or she doesn't get her way, she accuses them of being a bully. Luckily it hasn't became a serious matter yet, but if my child is falsely accused by this girl, I will set the record straight. I believe in teaching a child the necessary skills to defend themselves, verbally & physically. I won't raise a victim, only a survivor!

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:57 PM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • If my children were being bullied I would take steps on getting it stopped. If the school an the parents wont do anything then that's when I will teach my children to fight back.
    Now if my child was the bully I would be kicking their butt, literary and figuratively. I am raising my kids now not to make fun of those who are different from them.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 7:58 PM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • I was raised to defend yourself and I will raise my dds to do the same. If my dd was bulling I'd be very upset and they would be punished, but I feel like I would want to understand why. In no way bulling okay but sometimes it's a cry for help.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 8:30 PM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • What I have told my son is that you take up for yourself and do not let someone put heir hands on him. I know it can also be with words but I tell him to just ignore it and they will eventually stop messing with him. If it gets to the point if the kids are physical then he is to not throw a first punch until someone hits him then it's game on. I do not condone any kid being mean and he would sure be in major trouble if he were to treat others poorly.
    goofygalno1

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 7:57 PM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • As a former teacher I would never allow it no matter what
    mto3821

    Answer by mto3821 at 8:05 PM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • I have told my son if someone is bullying him to ignore them than eventually they will stop, and if it ever gets physcial and he is hit first, he has to defend himself.

    And I teach him to be kind, helpful loving to all people and if he cannot find something about someone he can like, than find someone else to like (he said he was also told this by his teacher a couple weeks ago)

    If I ever find out he is being a bully, not sure if he wants to fight with me but trust and believe it will be settled quick fast and in a hurry.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:15 PM on Oct. 8, 2012

  • IMO, my child will have my permission and support to do what they need to do to prevent a continued physical attack. That does NOT mean they are allowed to have the attitude that "you started it, I'm going to finish it" or just wait for the first punch and fight it out. It means doing what they have to do to prevent injury to themselves. My oldest will be very lucky to be able to get away...my middle DD could kick someone's ass and really do some damage...I don't want them to think I will stand behind them if they are harming someone out of anger or sticking around to continue to engage in a fight.

    All that said, we homeschool so it is kind of a non issue for now. My oldest is only 7 and we have groups we homeschool with (but I'm there) or supervised gymnastics, so it might be something we have to deal with more later on than what we see now.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:15 AM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • I don't know what I would do in either case. I hope I would act in a rational, responsible manner.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 12:04 PM on Oct. 9, 2012