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marriage is really difficult for me .Before marriage I thought he is perfect for me but after marriage things got worse.Is first marriage always difficult to people???

I thought men and women can live a happy life .but its just the opposite .
men and women likes and dislikes are so different.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Men and women are not compatible. A true commitment brings lots of pain staking, well, commitment. You learn to deal with the good and the bad. No one has wonderful, sunny, days every day of their marriage. It's tough. You find a way to agree to disagree on most things. At the beginning people fall "in lust". It is far different than love. Love is something that comes from growth and respect. You cannot know the person truly, until you have been together for a period of time. Day and night. I would just tell you that marriages last when there is a respect and want to be together thru it all. Hang in there and do your best to see, it is not all roses.
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 9:54 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Marriage is hard it takes two people and God to make it work. Yes, there are differences, but I learned long time ago I have to focus on the positive and the issues which are important to me. For example if you are not cheating on me or abusing me or my children were OK. I've learned that if the toilet seat is left up it's not a world crisis. Forget about the little things and focus on loving the husband God gave you.

    Peace, <>
    JoyceTN

    Answer by JoyceTN at 9:56 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • you have to learn talk and or deal. ohh and listen. i knew the things that my dh did that irrated me and he knew how i felt. so talked. this is my first marriage and his 2nd. i laid the rules out the day i moved in with him as he did the same. we worked things out and listend to each other. after 2 years i knew i could deal with his crap as he could mine. we will be married 4 years on feb 12. so its hard. but you learn to live. my dh knows he's an ass and im a bitch lol. we both made that clear day one. so theres no surprizes.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:58 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I don't see it that way - I mean, not exactly.

    My DH is my friend, first. We pal around together pretty well and sure we disagree, but it's usually fairly minor. I married quite old tho and that may have something to do with it. I certainly can't imagine being with anyone else.

    And it helps that I married "up" - he is a sweeter, better person than I am.

    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:00 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • You should always go into a marriage knowing it isnt always rainbow and butterflies. When you first meet, get married things seem to romantic and nice and eventually those things fade and what you have is two people living together. You should be friends, best friends, because when times get tough thats what you need to get through. My husband is my best friend in the world and believe me there are some days Im sure he wants to tear into me and me into him and we do, but at the end of the day we can laugh and say we were sorry. Marriage is alot of work and without someone you LIKE its impossible.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:05 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Marriage has its ups and downs. The hard part is hanging on through the downs, and working on it through them. But if you stick together and work on it, you do get through the hard parts and are stronger and happier together for it. There is a hard stage when the honeymoon is over and every thing he does drives you nuts, but you can get through that.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:09 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Well as for me it's the same too. Me and my husband are not the same like back then when first meet. Okay this is what my mom told me. At first when you are in love and are only boyfriends & girlfriends only, you two act so nice and lovable, but when you get married it's horrible. Anyway there just trying to show there good side, but once after getting married it's not the same. Do you know that comes around with all those happening? It can be kids, clean, cooking, situation, jobs, car, going out, not going out, and money. All those things comes around to make couples argument a lot. I believe it's true. I happen to me too. Me and my husband always fight about not cleaning, helping, cars, moneys, and others. Try to relax and think. Make good thoughts and try it out for your husband. Maybe one day he'll love you more.
    __bbaaoo

    Answer by __bbaaoo at 1:05 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Marriage is difficult period. My husband and I will celebrate our 6th year of marriage this year... and our 13th of dating. We had a teenage love affair... Now... 3 children, bachelor degrees, and a house later.... I think we are just going with the flow. Married couples tend to get comfortable... some of them anyway. Like love should always be there without having to work at it. In my situation, I think in the long run I will be eventually pissed at myself. But I have decided to sacrifice my own happiness for that of my children. There's nothing like a stable home and environment for them. I have become an expert in saving face and knowing how to deal with the issues. Marriage is hard work.
    youngmomofms

    Answer by youngmomofms at 5:32 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • my friend asked me if i would marry again if something god forbide happened to dh.i said no,because now i know that marriage is not my thing.nothing to do with dh,just me,im not unselfish enough for marriage.relationships bore me,they always have,all my boyfriends have loved me or 'thought' they did and i've always found that oppressive.i love my husband,i really do,but marriage has been so hard for me.im such a dissapointment to the female race am i not?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

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