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Am I obligated to tell my ex-husband that I'm engaged?

We have two daughters together. I divorced him. We've been apart for over 2 years. He's a controling sort, man of a lot of words, words that hurt. He's always right! I barely speak to him because this.

Question is, do I let him hear it through the grapevine or do I have to actually speak to him? My daughters know, but they would never tell him, that the way they are.....

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sandy925

Asked by sandy925 at 10:19 AM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • You have no obligation to do either. You don't answer to him.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:22 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Rather it come from you than someone else.

    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:22 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • i told my x but our dd was still young and were consider friends. but if my dd was older then i see i dont have to tell him. or let him know after if your worried he will start something.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 10:22 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • But doesn't he have a right to know who is in his chidlren's lives?

    I mean - unless he's a complete jerk and non-parent.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:29 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • If it were me I think I would tell him myself. If he had something negative to say I would leave the conversation at that and say out of a respect for him as the father of your children, you wanted to let him know. I feel like even though his personality leaves alot to be desired, he is their dad and should know if his children are going to have a step-dad. However, that is all he needs to know.
    8-)
    mom4mason

    Answer by mom4mason at 10:33 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I did tell my exhusband when DH and I got engaged. I figured he'd be more upset to hear about it later from someone else than to hear it from me but it was a sticky situation because he and my DH do not like each other.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:00 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I don't see why you have to tell him. I mean he's not in your life anymore. Me personally I wouldn't say a word. He would have to hear it from the grapevine because it's none of your business.
    mommatime78

    Answer by mommatime78 at 11:03 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I personally think because you have children together you should probably tell him if he's apart of the girls' lifes. Would you want to know if they were going to have a step mom? I know that if I were in that situation I would want to know if there was going to be another person coming in to my childs life. Just ask yourself if you're pulling double standards... and if you can honestly say no... then don't tell him.
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 11:33 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Its none of his business. How would your fiance feel about the fact that you called your ex to inform him of your engagment, like as if you need his approval or care what he thinks of it? Personally, I wouldnt do ot.
    asholan_07

    Answer by asholan_07 at 11:45 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • My friend's husband did not tell her that he was getting married. She found out from her daughter and the children were not even invited to the justice of the peace . It was devastating for them.Please tell him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

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