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3 Bumps

Well, it has happened. My teen has fallen in with the "wrong" girl...

He's 15. 16 on the 17th. He's amazing and smart with awesome grades and a great personality. He's open and honest with me and we talk about everything...or so I thought.

I knew he had a 'friend' named Paige. I found out a few days ago Paige is really his girlfriend. Fine. Then he tells me they broke up because she cheated on him. Fine, good riddance.

Today I get a call from the vice principal of his school. Uh oh. He was caught ditching a class with this Paige person. This has never ever happened before. The VP warned me that this isn't Paige's first rodeo but she really couldn't tell me much because of confidentiality of the students.

As soon as he got home today I gave him a home marijuana test. Just in case. It was negative. At school he will need the teachers to sign him into every class so ditching will be impossible without us knowing.

I'm at a loss. I'm not even angry, just terribly disappointed. I want to nip this in the bud now. He has such a bright future ahead of him. Hubby and I will discuss all this tonight but if anybody has suggestions, I'm open.

Answer Question
 
Tesserae

Asked by Tesserae at 8:02 PM on Oct. 9, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

Level 17 (4,009 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • well mama you have to let him learn for himself.If you tell him he can't see this girl, it will make him want to see her more. The most you can do is ground him and take away his cell phone/tv/games. Anything you know he loves and uses.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 8:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • *** only ground him when he breaks the rules, skips class, etc..
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 8:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • Well, Tess, I will tell you what most on here with disagree with. You are the parent, you still have authority over his butt. That means you take the reigns and you control the situation. If that means you are on his butt like glue, so be it. Make him understand as long as he is under your roof, you make the rules..... BUT enforce them!!!!!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 8:06 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • I know I can't ban the girl..., lord, I just don't want this to get worse. I started screwing up in 11th & 12th grade - my parents ignored the signs. I don't want to fail my son like that. =(
    Tesserae

    Comment by Tesserae (original poster) at 8:07 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • m-avi. This kid is literally either at school or here. I absolutely have authority over him but he seems to be using school as a cover for naughtiness. I just don't know how to handle this... He met Paige this school year, only a month ago I think, and already he's getting in trouble with her.
    Tesserae

    Comment by Tesserae (original poster) at 8:10 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • Mine did that too Tess, make sure the school knows you are care and want to be informed of EVERYTHING. I swear we had a "bat phone" between us and the school. They worked with us because they knew we cared.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 8:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • Absolutely, I will keep in contact with them, thank you. I don't work so if I have to follow him around campus I will.
    Tesserae

    Comment by Tesserae (original poster) at 8:15 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • Sit down with himand have a talk- remind him that the people you hang out with can either help you or bring you down. Ask him about his goals and how he plans to achieve them and remnd him to hang around with good people so he doesn't screw it up.

    He got a punishment from the school- by having to be signed into classes now, so I'd have the talk and let it be and keep an eye on things
    take it from there
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:50 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • You might have been king about following him around... But my mom walked me to first period (even stopping at my locker with me), and stayed at the door until the bell rang, and I had to wit in the deans office after school for her to come get me.... Needless to say, it was awful and embarrassing! After a week I begged her to stop, and I would behave. Do it.
    And if you can, i would talk to Paige. Not being mean, but letting her know that you see a change in him since they started hanging out, you know she cheated on him, and he has a bright future ahead you dont want to see going downhill. Let her know you love him very much and are concerned with what has been happening. Maybe if she knows he has someone who cares, and wont let him go down with her, she may move on.
    Good luck,
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 9:40 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

  • He's still a minor, and a child, so being the Mom of a 16 yr old son I will tell you what we've done, and it worked.

    Our son was 15, his grades took a turn for the worse, when he had a girlfriend. On one occasion, her Mother wanted to pick him up and let them hang out at the Mall, a big no no for us. He got really upset, like teary eyed, so we knew something was up. We didn't allow him to be alone with her, and he wasn't allowed to be out without adult supervision. He got all upset, so we grounded him( for the grades), and told him he couldn't see his girlfriend outside of school. Well she broke up with him soon after.
    I realize it's harsh, but grades come before girls, or anything else, and our boys know we stick to our word.
    Be a united front with your SO/DH, and let him know there are consequences to his actions.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:46 PM on Oct. 9, 2012

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