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DH admits to masturbating....

Ok...I have a VERY high sex drive. I always feel like I am BEGGING my husband of six years for sex. I have toys...I use them when I need...and he is fine with that. We have a great, exciting sex most of the time....with a few ruts here and there. Like any normal couple. husband admitted last night that he masturbates in the shower about once or twice a month. The masturbation itself does not irk me. What irks me is that I am begging for sex three times a week and he is masturbating in the shower instead.

Don't misunderstand...he can masturbate all he wants....but if mama wants some nookie, give it to her. RIGHT??????

What's everyone's opinion on this? This feeling that I have in the pit of my stomach will pass, right??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • Maybe its just because your n ot available when he wants it, or maybe he just wants some time for himself and enjoys it in the shower, however I see exactly where your coming from and IF he is going to do it by himself when he wants, then he should also be giving it to you whenever you want it. It's okay for him to do it as extra, but not in palce of having sex with you.

    Answer by asholan_07 at 11:56 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I'd be more concerned if dh didn't want you at all instead of wanting you plus taking care of his business at home. Be glad he's doing it at home instead of in the gym or another place.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I understand you...why masturbate when you are always willing....just wondering what was his answer??

    Answer by Dannee at 12:00 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I feel the same as you. I don't care if my SO masturbates but it irks me if he is denying me!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I personally don't see what the big deal is.  It seems like you have an active and healthy sex life, so what does it matter if he masturbates every once in a while? 

    The majority of men wake up with an erection but not necessarily horny so masturbating in the shower is probably just a means of relief or it could just mean that he needs some quick relief without really being in the mood for sex.  Either way it is his body and he can do what he wants with it as long as he isn't neglecting you or seeking relief in another bed.


    Answer by beeky at 12:00 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry about it, I guess. As long as the two of you are getting plenty of lovemaking in... doesn't sound like your competing against some weird narcissism or anything like that!

    Answer by sfwilson at 12:01 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • That's just it...we don't have sex "regularly". Possibly once, and if I'm really lucky twice a month. And I am begging the rest of the time. The sex is good when it happens.....I just want MORE.

    I really don't mind him masturbating all. In fact, he told me he does it thinking about me and when he's horny. I am also glad he's masturbating and not cheating....although I don't see how a person with such a low sex drive would cheat.....(LOL).

    I dunno. It just bothered me when he told me because I am always so horny and he acts like he never is. It's a good thing he's good in bed. Ha!

    Thanks for everyone's opinions. I appreciate them all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I prefer to masterbate... Sex takes to much time and energy... He mostlikely just wants to get it done and not have to deal with all the hassles of sex... I'm like that... Maybe you should try mutual masterbation...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:05 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Masterbating isnt a big deal. He is probably on a different time table you are on and when hes horny hes in the shower and youre unavailable.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • So, he masterbates. He's a guy, he's going to do it whether you are begging for sex or not. Maybe he doesn't want to go through the whole "get her in the mood" bit. Relax and take care of yourself if it is a problem. He does, why shouldn't you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

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